Our Little Opie Family

A Love Story. Part 1.

2012-02-14T03:16:00.000-08:00

I was a frazzled crazy mess when I met Robin. I had blisters on my feet, I was so not used to the heat of the Arizona sun, I registered for a class on the wrong campus, and overall was feeling crappy and scared about my decision to be living in Arizona. But then I finally found the Institute Building. Institute is an optional religion class you can take through the Church of Jesus Christ Of Latter-Day Saints. There's a bunch of different classes you can chose from, ranging from Book of Mormon to Principles of Leadership to the Old Testament. I remember standing there staring at the schedule feeling completely overwhelmed. I had no clue there were so many options. And this girl I have never seen before looks over at me and says, "You should take Book Of Mormon 2 with Brother Ray. It starts right now." I had just come from my Bones, Stones and Human Evolution class (aka the worst class ever) and thought I wanted more of a break before having to rush to Institute. I told her so, and she replied, "Oh but I've heard Brother Ray is great! You should really take this class with me!" Said the girl I had never seen before. I hadn't made any friends in Arizona yet, and thought well this girl obviously seems friendly, and maybe she needs a friend too. So I signed up for Brother Ray's Book Of Mormon 2 class, at 11:30 every Monday and Wednesday.

Meanwhile, Aaron was signing up for his Institute classes. He already had an Institute class on Tuesdays and Thursdays that he really liked. But he had other classes on Monday and Wednesday and wanted the free parking Institute offers, if you are registered for a class that day. And so, you guessed it, he registered for Brother Ray's Book of Mormon 2, for the free parking.

I sat in the second to front row, next to Robin. Aaron sat behind me. Robin disappeared a few weeks into the semester...

Words Olivia doesn't quite get...

2012-02-13T10:07:00.000-08:00

Olivia loves talking to her baby brother. She talks in a super high baby voice and says ridiculous things. She always calls him a "cuter". As in a noun, as in, "Oooohhh you are such a little CUTER!"

However this morning was the best... "Oh you are so cute you're a little honeymoon! Yes you are a honeymoon!" Then looking at me, "Mom, honeymoon means cute right?"

Oh and last night, "You are so romantical baby brother... so romantical..." I should probably correct her, but it just cracks me up too much.

And then sometimes she just plain ol' makes up words. I am always telling her how clever and smart she is. The other day she responded, "Yeah my brain is SO thinkable! It's always thinking... it's so thinkable."

And then we were talking about how smart daddy is (got straight A's in all his classes last term!) and she responded, "Yeah, he's so smart I think he has TWO BRAINS!" Maybe she's on to something there...

Also, today Aaron took Abigail on a little date. We are trying really hard to make sure she doesn't get lost in the shuffle. She's such an easy going girl, and her brother and sister are both high demand, it's easy for Abigail to get a bit lost. Aaron came home and told me he asked Abigail about her favorite color (pink), favorite drink (juice) favorite food (honey) and then when he asked her what her favorite game was she loudly replied, "ZELDA LINK GAME!" I don't know how he's done it, but he successfully brainwashed my girls into thinking there is absolutely nothing better in the world than watching him play Zelda Link Game. They genuinely love it and beg him to play it all day long. It cracks me up. If only I could teach them how fun Pinterest is!

Week from heaven.

2012-02-12T18:08:00.000-08:00

Aaron was off this week. It was heaven. We went bowling, out to lunch, relaxed around home, and for our big adventure spent a day down in Pittsburgh at the Children's Museum with my sister-in-law and her sweet kiddo's. It was a blast. Seriously, Pittsburgh Children's Museum is super fun. And I got to fulfill a childhood dream of seeing Mr. Roger's shoes and sweater, and puppets! It was super exciting. Aaron goes back to school tomorrow, and it is going to be ROUGH!

I made him.

2012-02-05T19:07:00.001-08:00

Wish the cameras were rolling

2012-02-03T15:05:00.000-08:00

Seriously the funniest event of our lives just took place. That is if you laugh at poop. Which I do. So picture this.

Aaron and I are seated on the loveseat in our living room. Nathan's diaper is pretty soggy. I ask Olivia to get me a diaper. She requests to help. I consent, as she's getting better and better at this diaper changing thing, and by the next baby (YEARS AWAY) she will be a pro. So I lay Nathan across my lap, his little bum aimed at Aaron. Olivia gets the diaper completely off, just as Aaron hears a familiar grumble from Nathan's tummy. Aaron frantically grabs for the diaper, but it is too late. Pooh is shooting every where. Mostly all over Aaron. He managed to contain a lot of it to the diaper, but still... if you've ever had a breastfed newborn you know the volume can be quite ridiculous! So there we sat, covered in yellow soupy poop. We were just silent for a moment. Disbelief at what just happened. And then I busted a gut. I laughed so hard I was scaring my children. Tears were streaming down my cheeks. I could barely catch my breath. I couldn't even begin to clean it up, I was paralyzed by laughter. Aaron had to take control and start cleaning up, while I continued to laugh myself silly.

Everyone warned me about boys peeing while their diapers are being changed, and Nathan is 7 weeks tomorrow and he still hasn't done it. I guess he'd rather go big or go home...

Paychecks

2012-02-01T11:06:00.000-08:00

In this land of motherhood it is easy to get depressed, and feel like you are doing a thankless job. How many times do you wash and dry and put away the same ol' clothes without anyone even noticing? Making the same bed day after day (okay I never make the bed), putting away the same toys. You catch my drift. You nurse around the clock for six weeks to a little super sucker who can barely manage a grunt, let alone a thank you.

I was talking to my mother-in-law about this. This feeling of never being done. Never feeling like I've accomplished anything at the end of the day. And she told me when her daughter got married in the temple, and she was in there, in the temple with 5 of her 8 children (the other three aren't old enough yet), a temple worker said to her, "This is a paycheck". That resounded with me, and has been bouncing around inside my head for weeks now. A paycheck. As a mother! What a concept. So do I have to wait until my children are grown before I get a paycheck? As this thought bounced around I realized, no. No, I do not have to wait. I receive paychecks daily. Maybe even hourly.

A three year old seeing her pajamas left on the floor, hurriedly picks them and puts them where they belong without a word from you... Paycheck!

A two year old who sings a song back to you, that you've sung her a thousand times, filling in her own words where needed... Paycheck!

Two little girls who seem to fight endlessly, finally playing nicely together and saying "I love you" to one another... Paycheck!

Three year old holding the door open for an older gentleman at the YMCA... Paycheck!

Two year old telling you she loves you more than her binkies... Paycheck!

Watching two little girls oooh and aaaahh over their sleeping baby brother whom they absolutely adore... Paycheck!

A three year old teaching her little sister the songs she learned at church... Paycheck!

Listening to a newborn baby "talk" to you... Paycheck!

Watching newborn baby grow, chub up right before your eyes, knowing all his nurturing is coming from you.. paycheck!

A husband coming home from working so hard himself all day, taking a moment to appreciate how hard you've worked today too, and wraps his arms around you and hugs you and thanks you... PAYCHECK!

....and countless more.

So maybe this job isn't so thankless after all. Maybe I am accomplishing something every day. Maybe I just need to open my eyes a little more, and look for these paychecks that are given to me so freely. Even on days I don't deserve them at all. While it might be nice to be able to have a paycheck I could cash and go spend on whatever I want... I think I prefer these paychecks I'll never cash. These paychecks that I'll treasure forever. These paychecks of the heart.

I can't believe she's still just three.

2012-01-30T06:36:00.000-08:00

Olivia colored on her sister's doll with a dry erase marker. After lecture the consequence decided upon was that the marker is going in the trash. This was met with much wailing and desperate pleas.

"But MOM! I put all my love into that marker. And you just want to throw that away???!!!!"

"Okay fine - if you don't throw it away, when I grow up I'll give you 50 bucks."

Where on earth does she come up with this stuff???

Sopapilla Cheesecake

2012-01-29T17:13:00.000-08:00

I made this for dessert tonight and Aaron declared it "one of the best desserts he's ever had". (He claims he has commitment issues which is why he will never declare something truly the best he's ever had... to which I replied, 'You don't have commitment issues, you proposed to me after four weeks!!' .. to which he replied, "THAT'S AN ISSUE!")

Anyway this is going to my new go to dessert for parties, showers, etc. So easy, cheap and yum!

All you need :
2 rolls of Pillsbury Crescent rolls (I used store brand, and you could use three if you don't want to stretch it so much, but 2 worked for us)
2 packages of cream cheese (I used Nufatchel or whatever it's called)
1 c. of sugar
1. T vanilla
melted butter
Cinnamon sugar

Instructions:
Preheat oven to 350. Unroll and spread 1 can of the crescent rolls on the bottom of an un-greased pan. Combine softened cream cheese, sugar, and vanilla. I used an electric mixer. Spread mixture over crescent rolls. Unroll and spread remaining crescent rolls over mixture. Spread melted butter over the top and sprinkle with cinnamon and sugar. Bake at 350 degrees for 20-30 minutes.

It smelled so good I couldn't wait for it to cool off before digging in. It was delicious while it was hot. Then a couple hours later, cleaning up the kitchen, it had gotten cold... and it was still delicious. I'm actually continuing to type right now just to keep my hands busy so I don't find myself back in the kitchen polishing off the pan....

*found the recipe on pinterest from this blog. http://myellowumbrella.blogspot.com/2010/10/sopapilla-cheesecake.html

right now

2012-01-27T04:18:00.000-08:00

A snap shot of our life right now...
Nathan is an amazingly wonderful little baby. And not quite so little. He's already about 13lbs, and 24 inches long. He goes four hours between feedings. Sometimes 6 hours at night. He coos, and goos, and makes the cutest little sounds I've ever heard.

Olivia's all time favorite thing right now is watching her daddy play Zelda. She sits next to him with her own controller and pretends she's helping him. It's the cutest thing ever. And for book club this month we are reading The Hobbit. I thought it would be fun to read with Olivia, not sure how she would do, but thought I'd give it a shot. She loves it. We have been reading it at night before she goes to bed.

And then my sweet little Abigail. She wants to do everything herself. If you open a package, juicebox, whatever, before handing it to her, you will suffer her wrath. Which usually involves screaming of, "ABBY DO IT!" And so Abby does it. I tell her I love her constantly. To which she constantly replies, "No you don't." And I say, "Yes, I do. I love you more than (insert anything lovable here)" to which she replies, "No you don't!" And my heart breaks. I know it's just a game to her, but I worry about my "middle child". The other day she got her microphone and started singing. "Abbeeeee looooooost..aaaaaaaaaaaaabeeeee loooosst..."
I said, "Oh pretty song, Abigail!" And she said, "No. Sad song. Abby lost." What on earth am I supposed to make of that??

2012-01-25T11:56:00.000-08:00

That mini heart attack when your baby sleeps for longer than 5 hours for the first time.

The panic gripping your chest as you tiptoe to where he sleeps and try to assess if he's breathing, without waking him up.

The wave of relief wash over you as he takes a sudden deep, noisy breath.

The clarity of mind you have throughout the day after getting 6 solid hours of sleep for the first time in months.

Oh the emotions of having a 5 week old around.

Proud wife.

2012-01-22T11:09:00.000-08:00

Last night my darling husband was honored at a banquet, along with about 20 other students. They were all inducted into Rho Chi, which is basically pharmacy's super cool smart kid club. He is in the top % of his class - I don't remember the %, 10? 15? Something like that. Anyway sitting there with him last night was fun, but so meaningful to me. I know my husband is great. But I know his greatness alone could not have gotten us to where we are. As his dean addressed us, I felt a whisper telling me how aware the Lord is of us. The year Aaron applied to LECOM was the hardest year to date for him to get accepted. It was ranked the 4th most competitive pharmacy program in the country that year, based on the fact that 1,800 students and applied and less than 150 were accepted. When I think of that whole process - from the time Aaron felt like pharmacy school was the next path he wanted to take - to where we are now - I know we have not done it alone. Aaron worked full time. He did two years worth of science classes in one crazy year. He took the PCAT with only a few weeks of science classes behind him - and he freaking nailed it! Anyway, I'm bragging on him a lot right now - but really it was made very clear to me that we aren't doing it alone. That we were guided here, and have been blessed all along the way.

So as decisions come up as to where to go next, and we begin to worry about where or if he'll get a job - I just have to laugh. Would the same Power that led us here, and sustained and blessed us here abandon us now? Of course not. On this Sabbath day, I am feeling full of hope and faith about the future. Whatever and wherever it will bring us.

(This is including getting me through the next few winter months with all my babies!)

My favorite hobby

2012-01-21T06:49:00.000-08:00

I love to read what google searches people did to find my blog. It always gives me a little chuckle. One that keeps popping up is, "just pee in your diaper".

This leaves me wondering, is just one person searching for this over and over again? Or is this a common thing to google? And I have said it before to my children, but I don't remember ever blogging about. Perhaps I did. Person googling this, did you find what you were looking for?

One that popped this week, "Is Opie a scrabble word?". Hm.. Is opie a scrabble word? Good question. *googling the question myself* No, no it is not. But I can see how this brought my blog up. We love us some scrabble around here. And we're Opies. But after googling this myself, the first seven sites that come up answer your question. Why would you click on the blog to answer this question?? Sorry for disappointing you by not having the answer to your question, but hope you enjoyed my funny stories.

Another common search that brings people to my blog, "mommy I puked". I just don't even know what to say. Sorry to the poor person dealing with that right now.

And finally to the person (people) who find my blog by searching "our little opie family" 508 times last year... the address is wonderfullifoflaurenopie.blogspot.com How complicated is that!? ... Very I know. I've struggled with wanting to change the title of this blog pretty much since its inception. Suggestions??

2012-01-19T13:08:00.000-08:00

Life with three kids. How's the adjustment going? The above picture does a pretty good job of summing up my emotions. I kid, but really as I was uploading these pictures I realized I have no pictures of Abigail. Cue mommy guilt. She is going to have "Middle Child Syndrome" and it's going to be all my fault!

But I need to tell the story of the first two pictures. This is the result of what happens when I try to sneak away for 10 quiet minutes. Any mom of young children know there really is no such thing as 10 quiet minutes. In fact 5 quiet minutes should alarm you. But no, I selfishly cleaned the playroom and gabbed away on the phone with my best friend. As I returned upstairs I literally couldn't believe what I was seeing. Is that an empty water bottle on the floor? Did they really open a water bottle and dump it out. Oh no... they didn't just dump out ONE water bottle... they emptied about 36! All over the living room, entry way, and stairs. The carpet was soaked. They knew they were in trouble so they didn't even fight going to their room. And I went to mine to get Aaron, so I could crack up. As in laugh my head off. Yes, that is how I deal with these situations. I find the humor. Which is good for staying sane, but not so much for discipline. You definitely don't want your kids going around thinking it's funny to waste things like bottled water. So I sent Aaron in to deal with them while I tried to keep my laughter out of their earshot. They cleaned it all up, and it hasn't been spoken of since. However, I will randomly crack up laughing every time I think about it. I mean it's just so ridiculous! What could possibly go through children's heads when they do things like this? Olivia clearly knew she was going to get in trouble - and yet it didn't stop her. And really, it was wrong. But could have been much, much worse. I know I would not have been laughing if it was the cans of soda they decided to play this game with. Or if they dumped the water on the laptop, camera or other non-water friendly items that were around.

The next picture is of Olivia sledding. We have a fun little hill right outside our door. Liv had a blast sledding down it. Then the next day it melted, and we splashed in the mud puddles. And now two days later, it is like a blizzard out there, and I'm sure our pile will be back by morning. The weather has been crazy this winter. And I love that we have had some random warm days to help us stay sane.

I think Nathan's expressions clearly sum up life around here. In a "what the heck is going on" and a simple "waaaahhhhhhh!" kind of way. He is a great little baby though. He likes to be rocked to sleep. He eats every 4 hours on the dot. (Or watch out.) And he is very, very loved by his big sisters. The funniest thing to me is when he is crying and Abigail will go up to him and say, "Don't cry Baby Boy - watch this." And then she makes a funny face by sticking her fingers in her mouth and sticking out her tongue.

Resolute.

2012-01-15T13:52:00.000-08:00

I love new years. And making resolutions. And setting goals. I just love trying to be better than I was yesterday. I usually aim big, and fall short, but in the end, I think I wind up a bit better than I was if I never set the goal in the first place. I don't know how many times I set a goal to run a marathon, or a 5K or whatever... hasn't happened yet, but I still ran more than I would have if I never set that goal. But this year? This year, with our new family of 5... I have low expectations for myself.

My main goal this year -- stay out of the mental hospital. Don't sell my children on Craigslist. Shower at least 5 times a week.

So far, so good!

Okay so really... those might be a little too attainable. And since for me setting a goal to run a marathon = running for 3 weeks... a goal of staying out of the mental hospital, might equal a nervous breakdown of some sort that only requires minimal hospitalization. So I'm going to aim a little a higher...

This year I'm focusing on education. I want to learn stuff. I feel like my brain has atrophied since becoming a mother. I'm thinking I'm going to take an open yale course. I want to learn about the French Revolution for some reason. I watched Les Miserables this week, and even though that movie isn't even about the French Revolution, it left me wondering about it. So goal 1 - Complete an Open Yale course.

Right now my house is in disarray. Complete disarray. I've used the excuse of wanting to cuddle my baby, and being worn out from traveling that I haven't done a darn thing since I've been home. So starting tomorrow I am going to kick it into gear with house cleaning. I want to follow the Creation Plan Cleaning Schedule. I've used it before and it worked for me. So I'm going to jump back into that tomorrow. Goal 2 - Have a house cleaning routine.

After having my third baby in less than 4 years I'm currently 50lbs heavier than when I got married. Yikes! Poor Aaron. I literally had to do the math in my head just now to figure that out and it's more depressing than I thought. I would be thrilled to lose 25lbs and keep it off this year. I would be over the moon to lose all 50lbs... and I guess sticking with my reach for the moon style of goal setting... Goal 3- lose 50lbs this year.

Olivia is so stinking smart. She already knows all of her letters and their sounds. So this year I want to teach her how to read. I also want to teach her to count to 20. She gets all confused after 13.Goal 4 - teach Olivia to read and count to 20.

Abigail is no dummy either. I want to start "mommy school" with her this year as well. She knows a few letters, and all of her colors, so I want to work on her number and letter recognition. Goal 5 - Teach Abigail all of her letters and numbers.

My only goal for Nathaniel is to continuing nursing him for 12 months. And read to him every night. Not really aiming very high here... but I can't think of anything else, and since I had goals for my other children I don't want to leave him out.

And then of course there are the spiritual goals. I want to read my scriptures and say my prayers every day. I want to be better about reading scriptures as a family. I would love if we could start next year already in the habit of regular family scripture study.

2012 is going to be a crazy year. Aaron starts rotations this summer. I'm not sure where it will take us, but I know for sure we will be back in AZ by November. So another goal of mine is to travel a whole lot less in 2012 than we did in 2011. After going to NJ right after Nathan was born, then flying to AZ shortly after that, I'm ready to just stay put for a while. Although I've said that before...

Three kids

2012-01-04T13:53:00.000-08:00

Somehow having three kids makes me feel like I have a hundred kids. I don't know how this one little person exponentially upped my workload, but he did. It's probably compounded by just not being home. We are loving the time with friends and family and the sunshine... but missing daddy like crazy.

Like crazy, crazy. The sunshine feels wonderful, but my husband's arms would feel 1000x better. Wah wah wah.

Olivia loves her little brother. SO MUCH. Abigail's warming up to him. She basically ignores him, or tortures him... And my 2 seconds to update this blog are up. Such is life these days.

Nate the Late

2011-12-19T07:50:00.000-08:00

So we finally got to welcome our little boy into the world. He was born Saturday the 17th at 8:17pm. He weighed 9lbs 2oz and was 21inches long. And he came into the world screaming his head off!

So here's the whole story... we had a home birth with an amazing, awesome midwife. I know, I know, we're crazy. But we're not. I really did a lot of research about this before deciding, and although I didn't announce it to the world, it was our plan all along. I just didn't want people to worry/tell me I'm crazy, so we kept it on the down low. But now it's over so I shall tell you all about it.

Woke up Saturday morning with contractions! Real contractions. Just like I did with Olivia and Abigail, I knew this was it. It was 4:45am so I tried to just sleep through it as much as possible. They were about 20 minutes apart, so I would lay there, drift off to sleep, and a contraction would wake me up. There was really no sleeping through it, but I did sleep a bit between them. At 6:30 I woke up Aaron to let him know we'd be having a baby that day. We got out of bed around 8:00am. Cleaned the house up a bit. Put away some laundry. Ate breakfast. Just tried to ignore the contractions as much as possible. Then I called a few best friends to chat. That was a good distraction. Then around 3:00 my friend Candace came over to give me a massage. Definitely the best part of the labor!! She was amazing. Contractions were picking up, and I had to focus quite a bit to get through them. But the massage... yeah that helped. Contractions were about 5 minutes apart at that point. She stayed for almost 2 hours. Then after she left I got into the shower. Contractions picked up even more. We called the midwife around... 6? I'm guessing, because I lose all track of time at this point. When Jen (the midwife) got there I was about 8cm. She said by looking at me and the way I was acting she would have guessed I was like 4cm. I was really happy, not in too much pain, and loving the fact that I was at home! Then things started to get really intense. I felt him starting to move down, and I just started to get a bit scared. I tried to just focus on one contraction at a time, but yeah... started to get a little scared realizing this baby was really going to come out.

We had a birthing tub set up in the playroom. Full of wonderful hot water. I was honestly afraid to get in because I knew once I did he was coming. I had to let go of the fear and hop in the tub. I have no idea how long I was in the tub before he came. It was really intense. I know I was loud, and crazy, and wondering why the heck I decided to do this. But then with one contraction my water broke. With the next contraction his head came out. With the next contraction the rest of him was born. It really was just so intense and beautiful. I picked my baby boy up out of the water, and laid him against me. He screamed from the moment I lifted him from the water. Aaron cut the cord after it stopped pulsing. We got to sit there in awe and just enjoy this little miracle for as long as we wanted. It was perfect.

Jen commented on how wrinkly his fingers were and said he was definitely a 41 weeker. I needed 3 little stitches. Which I made a big deal about, but wasn't a big deal really. I just hate that part. Anyway it has been wonderful to climb into our own comfy bed, and eat our own yummy food, and just enjoy the comfort of being home. Jen comes back to check on us, and brings all the paper work for birth certificate, etc. Anyway, if you have any questions about it I'd love to answer! It was a beautiful, wonderful experience... but I'm not far enough removed from the pain yet to say I'd do it that way again! Give me time, and I'm sure I will.

True story.

2011-12-15T12:27:00.000-08:00

Every day since my due date I have come to my blog to look at my little ticker thingy. And every day I feel a little more sorry for myself. -6.... Oh poor me! Isn't that silly?

My midwife came this morning. We are sure this baby will be here soon. I've actually been having lots of contractions since she left. But nothing with any kind of pattern or anything yet. So... we'll see. She said he seems perfectly healthy. His heart rate was great. He was moving around a bit. And he's in a great position. My blood pressure and all that stuff was also perfect. So there's no reason to try to rush things... except for my sanity. And if I know baby is doing okay, it helps me be okay too. I mean of all we sacrifice for these little people throughout the course of their lives, it all kind of starts with this. The first gift I'll give him is letting him chose his own birthday. (Although Aaron did threaten him last night, that if he doesn't come out soon we will never recognize his birthday for the rest of his life. Sorry kid, it's Jesus' birthday this time of year, and ya know you COULD have been born a couple weeks earlier, but YOU chose to stay in there forever, so now you never get a birthday party for your entire life...we joke, we joke. Aaron also promised him a car for his 16th birthday if he came early. Too late for that one, kiddo.)

In other news, I have had a horrible cold and Aaron has all these tests this week, and I've just been feeling overwhelmed and sick and so very pregnant and scared and all kinds of crazy emotions... so I called my Mommy. And I asked her to meet me somewhere in the middle of PA and take my kids for me. And she did. Yeah she's the best. So now all I have to worry about is resting and getting this baby out. And maybe putting away some laundry or cleaning or some kind of nonsense like that.

Today I did some stuff for Seminary, laid around, ran a quick errand, laid around, and still working on that laying around. It is glorious. Although I can't believe how much I already miss my baby girls. Seriously! But I also don't know how I'd be functioning if they were here. I know they are safe, and loved and having a blast with my family. I am so incredibly grateful to be have family willing to do that for me!

So for the rest of the day I'll be watching Netflix from my couch... just waiting. And praying that tomorrow I wake up feeling at least a little better. And then I can have this baby. Weekends work well for me.

Olivia's bed time story.

2011-12-12T11:16:00.000-08:00

I had Olivia tell me a story the other night for bed time. My brain just couldn't function enough to come up with a story. Well, she had no problem. I was really impressed with her story I wanted to write it down somewhere. I'm going to try and write exactly like she said, as much as I can.

"Once there was a little bird with a hurt wing. His wing was really hurt. He had to rest so it could get better. Once it got better he could fly SUPER high. He flew all the way up to SANTA'S SLEIGH! Santa was stuck in a storm. His reindeer couldn't see in the clouds and the storm. The birdie said, 'Tweet, tweet, I can help, tweet tweet.' And Santa said, 'Who are you?' The birdie said, 'I'm Tweetie! Tweet. I have good eyes! I can see in this storm.' And so Santa said okay and the birdie helped lead the sleigh. Santa said, 'On DONDER! ON CUPID! ON TWEETIE!' And then the birdie helped Santa get out of the storm."

At this point she realized her story had come to an end, but she simultaneously realized that if her story ended I would say goodnight and leave. So she had to keep going to avoid having to go to bed. Clever girl.

"But then Santa flew into a... tunnel! And a train was coming! And the train hit Santa! And all the reindeer died, but Santa didn't because he's magic. And presents went everywhere. But the presents had names on them so everyone knew what presents to take."

And then she gave up on trying to stay awake and just said the end. I was really impressed with her story. I had to repeat it to Aaron to see if it was something he had told her once or something. He said it was completely original. She is such a little smarty pants! I love hearing what her imagination comes up with.

Memories from Aaron's phone...

2011-12-11T13:14:00.001-08:00

Yeah this is only a few months later... painting pumpkins. Love how serious Abigail is.

"Cheeeeese"

Crazy eyes.

Love the amazement in Abigail's eyes.

Santa's a little creepy looking here... but they were super nice. This was in a really small town in PA... Northeast, PA. Which is in the north west of PA...

We went to this old train museum. It was lots of fun.

At Asbury Woods.

You is kind... you is smart... you is important...

2011-12-10T08:40:00.000-08:00

Have you seen The Help? If not, take 19 seconds to watch this video. Out of context it might seem kind of weird, but anyway I thought it was a touching part of the movie. And I thought I should be better at telling my girls more often how important and kind they are.

So the next day this scene kept going through my head. I had Abigail on my lap on the rocking chair and I looked at her sweet little face. I said, "Abigail, you is kind..." To which she yelled, "NO!" And I said, "Yes, you are kind..." And as if to prove her point she hit me in the face and again yelled, "No!" This is real life people. I didn't bother with the rest of the little mantra.

So later that day I had Olivia on my lap in the kitchen. I said the same thing to her. "Hey Liv, did you know you are kind? You are smart. And you are important." She didn't really respond to me at all. Then she looked up from what she was doing and said, "Cool. You forgot to say cool."

.... and since I'm officially past my due date I guess I ought to mention how incredibly miserable I am. I also have a cold. This has been a recurrent theme for the end of my pregnancies. It is the worst. And I feel terribly sorry for myself, so don't worry you don't have to feel sorry for me, I'm taking care of that all on my own.

the watched pot

2011-12-07T12:33:00.001-08:00

I'm pretty sure I know what a watched pot feels like right now. Ya know, the one that never boils? I'm not quite to my due date yet, but I know every one is one edge waiting for that phone call/facebook post/ blog post etc announcing that I'm in labor. From the moment I figured out my due date I tried telling myself to add a week. Not the 9th, the 16th. But I've never been able to convince myself. I keep trying, but I just have this hope that maybe this guy won't be as late as sisters. But what if he's even LATER?? Ugh... I don't think I can be pregnant for two more weeks.

I'm pretty sure when that whole nesting instinct thing was given out, Heavenly Father forgot to give it to me. I think I got an extra dose of laziness. I don't ever remember having that urge to clean like crazy with the girls. I make myself do it, because I want a clean house for the baby and all, but it's not like an uncontrollable urge. Yesterday I scrubbed my bathtub. I'm sure some people might think I was nesting, but I'll tell ya what... it wiped me out. Apparently for two days. I am SO tired today. And my kitchen is a mess from making pizza dough last night... and I still don't want to clean it. Pretty much all of me hurts. My hips, my shoulders.. wah wah wah...

On the other hand... these are my last few weeks of being pregnant. I need to try and enjoy it. Because believe it or not I always end up missing it. So I'm trying to savor the feeling of this little person squirming around inside me. And trying to ignore the discomforts because really it is all such a miraculous process. With a beautiful little miracle in the end. I know that really Jesus wasn't born on Dec. 25th.. .but still this is the time we celebrate His birth, and I kind of think it's magical to be pregnant this time of year. I told Aaron when I go into labor I want to dress up like Mary and ride a donkey. We can have our own live nativity!!... is that sacrilegious? The thought makes me laugh anyway.

2011-12-02T11:22:00.001-08:00

Can being pregnant with a boy make me more hormonal than I was with my girls? I don't remember feeling this crazy when I was pregnant before. I seriously cried my eyes out a car commercial the other day. Today Aaron slept when I felt like he should have been awake... and I had a major melt down over it. I've been blessed that I've been able to sleep fairly well most of this pregnancy. Until lately. Ugh... laying down just hurts. My shoulders and my back hurt. I get contractions when I roll around too much. I get pins and needles if I lay still. I get heart burn if I'm too flat on my back... last night was a crappy night. The night before that was also fairly crappy. Today I gave my girls half a roll of toilet paper to keep them busy so I could eat my lunch in relative peace. Officially in survival mode.

I also hate not knowing how much longer I'll be pregnant. This part just drives me crazy. This is my third time doing it, you'd think I'd learn a way to just not think about it or something... but I haven't. I always try to keep my calender clear from 37 weeks+, just in case... I should probably do the opposite. Try to keep myself as busy as possible. Pretty sure people will understand if I have to cancel a playdate due to being in labor. Anyone want to come over and play???

Gratitude

2011-12-01T10:25:00.001-08:00

So I let all of November pass without a typical blogger grateful post. Lately I have been falling asleep listening to the same talk on my phone... The Choice To Be Grateful. Towards the end it says to make a list of 100 things you are grateful for, and helps you break it down. I have found this to be the most peaceful way to fall asleep.

And since I'm procrastinating putting away groceries and cleaning the kitchen I'm going to do it. Write out all 100 things... So sit back, and relax and enjoy!... or just scroll down to the next post and read some funny things Olivia has said ;)

Write 10 physical abilities you are grateful for.
Showering on my own
Toileting on my own... seriously had a friend on strict bedrest and I didn't even think about how awful it would be to have to use a bedpan. *shudder*
My ability to carry healthy babies, and nurse them with little difficulty.
The ability to drive a car.
The ability to cook yummy dinners.
The ability to type... I do enjoy my blogging time.
Sleep. That's a physical ability, right?
Hugs. And kisses.
Taste, definitely couldn't live without my taste buds.
And I guess just the physical potential of my body. Right now I would never dream of running a marathon, but I know if I wanted to, I could put forth the effort and my body would oblige. I'm grateful for that.
Write 10 material possessions you are grateful for.
phone.
van.
computer.
bed.
Abigail's binkies.
food.
my pillow.
my Ikea throw pillows and lamps.
our tv.
scriptures.
Write 10 living people you are grateful for.
Aaron.
Olivia.
Abigail.
"Baby boy on the way"
Mom
Nanny
Mom-in-law
aunts.
cousins.
siblings.
sibling-in-laws.
friends. near and far.
Write 10 deceased people you are grateful for.
this is tough....fortunately I don't know that many people that died. I'm so grateful for that. And so so so grateful that most of the people on this list are people I've never met.
Poppy
Joseph Smith
Grandma Opie
...ugh I literally can't think of any more. I'm grateful for the babies of my friends that only lived long enough to ever know their mother's womb. While it breaks my heart into a million pieces for them, it magnifies my gratitude for my precious little ones that for some reason, Heavenly Father saw fit to let me keep here on this Earth with me.
Write 10 things about nature you are grateful for.
beaches.
mountains.
finding bugs with my kiddos.
walking on logs across creeks.
arizona citrus blossoms.
sun shine.
warm breezes.
millions of stars.
fall's beautiful colors.
first blossoms of spring.
freshly fallen snow.
Write 10 things about today you are grateful for.
kids were amazing at chiropractor this morning.
chocolate cookies I splurged on at Target.
kids were amazing at Target and sat in the cart and let me browse.
Writing Santa letters with my kids.
Facebook chats with friends. (sometimes this is my only social interaction of the day!)
The sun is shining!
Abigail napping.
Having groceries for dinner tonight.
The first day of Dec... the month I'll be having this baby boy!
nice lady at Target giving me two separate bags of popcorn for my kids so they wouldn't fight.
Write 10 places on earth you are grateful for.
Middletown, NJ
Erie, PA
Mesa, AZ
Jamaica (honeymoon)
Christopher Creek, AZ (falling in love)
My home.
The temple. Any temple.
Disneyland.
Mexico.
Sandy Hook.
Write 10 modern inventions you are grateful for.
laptops
phones
television
dishwashers
washing machines
dryers
showers and bathtubs (those are "modern" right??)
cars
.... I can't think of anything else really "modern". I keep thinking of things like blankets and beds. Pretty sure those have been around a while.
Write 10 foods you are grateful for.
Just 10? chocolate chips.
chocolate in general.
pasta.
mozzarella cheese.
potatoes
chicken
homemade bread
girl scout cookies
butter. lots of butter.
and because a vegetable should be somewhere on this list... broccoli.
Write 10 things about the gospel you are grateful for.
The Atonement.
Commandments.
Tithing.
Blessings.
Friendship.
Forever families.
A Living Prophet.
Teaching Seminary.
Visiting Teaching.
Personal Revelation.

Stinkin Good

2011-11-29T04:13:00.001-08:00

Took the girls to Wegman's with me yesterday. If my kids sit nice in the cart, I let them have a doughnut while I shop. This time Olivia opted for a powdered sugar, cream filled one. After two bites her eyes rolled back in her head and she sighed, "Oh my goodness graciousness...." Then she looked at me quite seriously and said, "Mom, this is SO good... it's (lowers voice to a whisper) stinkin' good."

I love that I have a child who can be as passionate about good food as I am. I'm pretty sure she lowered her voice because she thinks "stinkin" is a bad word. But she had to use it to explain how delicious her doughnut was. I was cracking up. She finished that thing in about two more bites. Meanwhile Abigail played Hansel and Gretel and left a trail of doughnut crumbs throughout the store. Sorry, Wegmans employees.

2011-11-27T17:32:00.001-08:00

Anyone else notice how quickly that number is dropping on my little floating baby thingy? 12 days until my due date?! AHHH! Seriously, how is November almost gone already? This month has been flying by. I am now entering my least favorite stage of pregnancy. That time when every day you wake up and think, "Hey I could have a baby today!" ....or it could be in three weeks....When every little ache or pain feels like it could be a contraction. Or a real contraction... I had weeks of contractions with Abigail, so I should know to just ignore it. But even still, with every one I feel a bit of a hope that maybe this will be my baby who decides to come a bit early.

But then on the other hand, I'm completely a-okay if he wants to stay in there a few extra weeks. My girls give me a run for my money most days and when I think about the addition of another little person I panic a bit. And we have a lot planned for the month of December. Like traveling to NJ for Christmas, and then to AZ for a wedding. Yeah... it's going to be a bit nutso. I start thinking of all that traveling, with all these little people and I think I'd rather time just slow down a bit.

My mom and dad came to visit this weekend. It was so nice. My mom helped me get on top of my laundry situation, and figure out a place to put all of baby boy's clothes. We went shopping and got a few last minute things. We went to Romolo's and I had the yummiest hot chocolate ever. The kids were so surprised and thrilled to have their grandparents here. Abigail is already asking for Nana to come back. It was a really fun weekend. And feels so good to start with the week with the house in order. Mostly.

We took out Christmas decorations today. It was so fun to watch the girls as we emptied box after box of all these decorations. Olivia kept saying, "I REMEMBER THIS! I REMEMBER THIS FROM WHEN I WAS A LITTLE GIRL!" Ya know, 3 is the new 30 around here. Abigail played with the Nativity and kept making Joseph and Mary hug and kiss. I tell ya, there is never a dull moment around here, ever.

Canned Peas.

2011-11-24T19:01:00.001-08:00

I have so so much to be grateful for. A roof over my head. A loving, attentive, thoughtful husband. Two beautiful daughters. And a son I haven't met yet. Great parents, and parents-in-law (is that the right way to phrase that??). I'm grateful for my country, and my freedom. And clean running water. Seriously every time I watch some documentary or something about third world countries I'm always left with this insane gratitude for clean drinking water from my sink. And the ability to take a hot shower pretty much whenever I want. THAT is something to be grateful for.

But I've had a heavy heart the past couple of days. Because, despite all that I have, there is one piece missing that just seems to be blaring at me this time of year. My Poppy. I miss him. Last year I didn't feel the weight of missing him as much as I do this year. Maybe it is pregnancy hormones. As I prepared Thanksgiving dinner for the first time ever this year, I could feel him beside him. All these memories of "helping" him as a child came flooding back. Thanksgiving to me, will always be Poppy's holiday. Every year he'd be in a shirt and tie. And an apron, because he'd be cooking. The master of the gravy. Bickering at Nanny for forgetting something or not doing something the way he would have done it. As I peeled potatoes this afternoon, I remembered sitting with him at the kitchen table peeling potatoes. I could hear him telling me about he peeled potatoes in the Navy. How he got to be so good at only getting the skin off, and not any potato with it. I loved those moments. Talking with him. Feeling like I was helping... when now as an adult, I realize he probably could have done it all a lot faster and easier without me there. But he took time to explain things to me. Showed me how to fry sweet potatoes. How to stir the gravy... and add his secret ingredient... the juice from a can of peas. He'd tease me about the amount of food I ate while I "helped" cook. He always cut me a piece of skin from the turkey as soon as it was out of the oven. I cried a few tears today wishing he could see me now. A grown up, with my own kids running around, wanting to help me cook. I wished he could have tried my gravy. But, I know he was watching. I could almost hear him in my head all day today. Correcting me as I went about my cooking. Teasing me for the amount of food I was "testing" as I was cooking.

Today I did things differently than he would have done them. I used a bag to cook my turkey. I made the gravy from scratch, and I only added a drop of pea juice, more as homage to Poppy than for flavor. I made a corn casserole, not just regular corn. I even made my own cranberry sauce. I think he would have liked it. But there was one thing I didn't change a bit. Canned peas. Poppy loved canned peas. I can not see a can of peas without thinking of him. Of all the food served on Thanksgiving, that can of peas will always remind me of Poppy.

I'm rambling now, and this has gotten long... but I'm just so grateful for the example Poppy was to me. I don't think I would be the person I am today if it wasn't for Poppy. As Olivia helped me prep the turkey today, all I could think of was being her size and helping Poppy cook. When she started to get in the way, and it would have been easier to send her away so I could get more done, I thought of those moments with Poppy. I thought how much more important those memories are than getting the turkey in the oven on time. For reminders like that, I'll always be sure to have canned peas on Thanksgiving.

Olivia's faces & hair cut

2011-11-22T07:33:00.001-08:00

Seriously it is impossible to get a decent picture of this child. I didn't include the 15 others that led up to the final "good enough" shot. But here's what I could get of her hair cut.

2011-11-20T04:08:00.000-08:00

I wonder if on some level my kids know that if they wake up at 5:00am I will be too tired to care what they eat for breakfast. Like this morning, as I type, each child has a spoonful of cookie dough. My tired brain tells me it's no worse than the sugary cereals a lot of moms feed their kids for breakfast. In fact it's probably better... ya know... all natural, nothing but eggs, butter, sugar, and flour. Sounds good, right? Had I gotten to sleep until 7 they'd probably have been forced to eat eggs and toast. Think they know?

I took Olivia to get her hair cut yesterday. Her and I actually had a great day together. I took her shopping for some new pants and long sleeved shirts. Before we left I asked her if she also wanted to get her hair cut. You would have thought I asked her if she wanted to go get her teeth pulled. Screaming, crying, etc. So whatever. No haircut. Wanted a fun day, not a battle. So off to shop we go. We went to a few stores, ending at Wal-Mart. I showed her the hair salon to see her reaction. To which she giddily jumped up and down and begged to get her hair cut. Seriously child?! Okay, well why not. So she got her hair shampooed, cut, and blow dried. Olivia said she wanted it short. I tried to explain to the lady the a-line type bob that I know would be super cute. She somehow did the exact opposite of what I said. It's like a bowl cut. But she did some "face framing layers" that just look weird to me. But it will grow... and Olivia loves it. So that's all that matters right? She was really cute the entire time. She helped sweep up her hair. She told the lady who was cutting her hair, "Can you make my hair beautiful like yours?" ... And I'm sorry I just realized this entire story could be summed up in two sentences. Yesterday I took Olivia shopping, and to get her hair cut. She likes it, I don't.

So she came home with her new do, and even put her new clothes on in the van because she wanted her dad to see. And then as we walked in the door, instead of posing all cute and being excited and happy (like she was TWO SECONDS AGO) she just started screaming and crying for no reason. I have no idea what goes on in her head sometimes.

Abigail woke up from her nap extremely sad that I was shopping with Olivia. Poor Abigail frequently gets left behind because of her beautiful 2.5 hour nap in the middle of the day. Sorry kiddo, I'm not messing with that ever. So one of these days I will have to find time to take Abigail out, one on one.

Baby boy seems to be growing well. I'm past 37 weeks, so I guess he could come any time. I don't feel like he's going to be coming any time soon. I hope I'm wrong. I was so sure Abigail would come early, and I was dead wrong there. So maybe I will be wrong again? I've pretty much just accepted the fact that I slow cook my babies.

Know what's weird?

2011-11-17T13:40:00.000-08:00

There's another Lauren Opie out there in the world. With a similar email address to me. I have been getting emails for her for years. I usually forward them to her. I've never heard a response from her. It's been weird to read about her job interviews. Pictures from her trip to Vegas with group of friends. Found out she got engaged. Found out she got married. Stuff from realtor about buying a house. And recently found out she's pregnant. Seriously it is so weird! And I was thinking after she got married and was no longer Lauren Opie I would stop getting her emails...but nope! I even got an invite to a private blog from a friend of hers.

Sometimes people find this blog by searching for Lauren Opie. If you're looking for a newly wed, pregnant with first baby, named Lauren... well that was me 4 years ago. Sorry! :)

And yes, this is possibly the most random blog post ever. If you're reading, Name-twin feel free to say hi!

Ready for it.

2011-11-10T12:44:00.000-08:00

I suppose I should start this entry with an apology at my lack of updates recently. So sorry to those who read this, and come looking for funny anecdotes of my adorable children. You are overdue for some stories. Unfortunately my brain can't hold onto memories for more than 5 minutes apparently. Hopefully brain function returns eventually.

Good thing I have a few pictures from our lovely time outside the past couple of days to remind of the fun we had. We made giant leaf piles and jumped in them. We gathered leaves in our arms and threw them at another yelling silly things like "pie in your face!" or just "pie face" if you're Abigail. It was good times. We were graced with absolutely beautiful weather the past few days. We spent our time at parks, running around our apartment complex, and basically avoiding doing laundry. Today, however, is overcast, drizzily and cold. So we're getting caught up on TV shows, laundry and baking.
There is snow in the forecast for tonight! Had it been a week ago I would have cried. But today I'm ready for it. We made the most of our spring and summer, enjoyed lots of time outdoors... today I'm ready for snow and hot chocolate, and cuddling on the couch. I've been putting off saying I'm ready for winter, because that also has to mean I'm ready for baby. And I haven't been ready to say that. But today at 36 weeks... I'd honestly be happy if this little guy decided to make up for his sisters' lateness and come two weeks early. (Each girl was a week late, so really to balance the universe he should come two weeks early, right?) So bring on the snow and bring on the baby! I'm ready!

Best day eeeveerrrrr!

2011-10-29T05:01:00.000-07:00

So the day seemed to start off perfectly. Kids woke up about when we expected them to. We hopped out of bed and started our day off right with scripture study and prayer as a family. Then we all worked together to get everything packed up, cleaned up, and ready to go, for our trip to NJ for the next week. Our goal was to be out the door by 9:30, and I was feeling quite satisfied with us, when I noted the clock said 9:25 as we pulled out of our parking lot. After a few errands and grabbing some breakfast we were officially on the road by 10:00. Oh, but not until after my ankle decided to stop existing, causing me to fall to my near death experience. Okay it wasn't that dramatic at all, but seriously. I don't know what happened but stepping out the door of my friend's house, my ankle suddenly lacked the ability to support my leg. It twisted all funky and hurt a lot. I laid on the ground and cried, with Aaron watching from the van. Apparently he didn't see the fall, just me laying there. He thought I was tying my shoes. Then he realized I was almost dead and came and rescued me.

The Kids were so pumped to be going to Nana's house and couldn't wait to see Ziggy and Bhodi (the dogs). They were happy with our CD's, snacks, and movies. Then it was 1:00 and time for lunch. My ankle was still hurting, not to mention other discomforts that come along with traveling while 34 weeks pregnant. So we get Wendy's for lunch and it's a nice stop. The next hour is not so nice. Kids were almost asleep when we stopped for lunch, but after eating and playing they had no interest in sleep. They were pretty cranky. No one wanted anything. Much wailing and gnashing of teeth occurred the next hour or so. With a few, "I have to go pootttyyyy" and some "But you just went!"... After an hour of this craziness we decided to stop at a gas station and potty, and fill up since we were at about half tank anyway. We loaded the car back up and announced - "Next stop, Nana's house!!"

Or so we thought.

As we pull away from the gas station we hear a noise. The harder I step on the gas, the louder the noise. Hmm... Well the kids are finally happy. We don't want to stop. So we get back on the freeway. Nothing seems to FEEL wrong with the car... but it sure sounds terrible every time we accelerate. Maybe if I put it on cruise control... nope still sounds terrible. But the kids are so happy and quiet... we can't stop yet!! But after driving about 10 miles we both feel like we should probably stop and at least look and see if we see something stuck somewhere or something.

We get off at the next exit. We are in the middle of nowhere. Literally... we pulled into a gas station, and watched a horse & buggy go by. We looked under the hood and didn't see anything obvious to us. We look around and wonder what the heck are we going to do. Just a little ways up the road there is a tow and repair shop. We wonder if we should chance it. I mean, we are literally in the middle of nowhere. These people will know they are our only help. And we figured they would pretty much rip us off. We have a lot of hope in humanity, don't we? So we said a quick prayer and drove down the road to the shop, feeling like it was our only option.

As we pulled in the lady behind the desk told us it sounded like our exhaust broke off. Or something like that. (I make no promises about correct car part vocabulary for the rest of this post). A few minutes later a mechanic came and looked at it. And confirmed our exhaust was completely rusted and had broken. There was no way we could keep driving like that - and were lucky nothing worse had happened so far. They most likely didn't have the part we needed, but could possibly take it off, weld it and put it back together. They had some master welder dude who would be there soon. So we waited.

The welder guy was there quickly, and so then we waited for them to get the part off. And we waited. And waited. And waited. The longer we waited the more Aaron saw dollar signs rolling around in his eye balls. After almost 3 hours of sitting in this tiny little repair shop office, we were finally told it was done. I loaded the kids up and Aaron went in to take care of the bill. We were shocked at how fair these people dealt with us. For one thing it was a Friday afternoon. They usually closed at 4, but they stayed until after 5 working on our van. Plus, big trucks are their bread and butter. They said they deal with a situation like ours once or twice a year or something like that. All in all, they ended up charging us about a 1/3 of what we were expecting to pay. We drove away with our normal sounding car feeling extremely blessed.

We were three hours behind schedule. Our kids were exhausted. My ankle hurt. And just about everything else on my body. But we knew Heavenly Father was aware of us. It amazed us that we just happened to break down right by this particular repair shop. That I had some extra cash from my birthday that we were able to use to pay for everything. We drove the last 4 hours feeling so grateful for the way everything worked out.

I need to start carrying a camera around with me...

2011-10-19T04:48:00.000-07:00

It's been a picture worth few days... and I don't have a picture to show for it. But I can still write about it, right? So my birthday was wonderful. Woke up to sunshine and healthy, happy children. Can't ask for much more than that! And then since it was sunny I decided to take the kids to Port Farms, even though Aaron wouldn't be able to come with me. That may have been a mistake. It was just exhausting running around all over with my two kids. But it was so much fun. Abigail even said, "dank oo mommy. best." Which translates to "Thank you Mommy. You are the best!" Nothing beats hearing that from a little 1 year old mouth. So cute. And then we picked up our van! Which was also exhausting and crazy. But we still had fun, and we have a van! I am in heaven. Then we went to Outback. It was delicious. The kids were semi-well behaved. Minus the playing with the blinds because the moon was out (Abigail) and breaking a glass (Olivia). Oh and the head trauma right before we left was also fun (Abigail).

And then yesterday my wonderful friends here threw me a baby shower. It was so fun, and just perfect. It's always nice to feel loved. And this baby boy already has the cutest growing wardrobe. It was funny because it was a combined shower for me and another friend who was having a girl... so of course all of her gifts are super ooooohs and aaahs and ruffles and bows and dang girl stuff is just so cute! But boy stuff is new for me. I've had my fill of bows and frills and flowers. I'm so excited for these adorable little sweater vests, and khaki pants, and all that. I really am so grateful for all of the great people here. I really am in love with Erie right now.

I also can't believe how fast time is going. How many days until my due date??? Every time I look at that little ticker I have a mini heart attack.

birthdaayyyyyyy

2011-10-16T17:59:00.000-07:00

Tomorrow I turn 27. TWENTY-SEVEN! I have memories of telling people my mom was 27! How did I get to be as old as my mom??

I love birthdays. I wonder if I'll ever get old enough to dread my birthdays. But right now I'm excited to just have a super fun day with my little family.

And on birthday I always like to think about what I've done so far. I have a wonderful marriage based on faith, trust, friendship and love. I have two (soon to be three) amazing children. I have a BA degree in Special Education. I have my little blog that I've kept for 3+ years! And as of tomorrow I'll be the driver of a mini-van. With that I've pretty much accomplished everything I've ever wanted to do. Guess it's time to start dreaming a little bigger than driving a mini-van. Seriously that's all I've ever wanted in life. To be the owner of a mini-van. And to have enough little kiddo's to necessitate said van. Glad I'm married to a man who lives to make my dreams come true. :)

Of course turning 27 just makes me think about how close I am to 30. That's like a biggie, right? Turning 30. So I'm going to make some long term goals. I hope by the time I'm 30 - I'm still updating this little blog. I hope we have a house. And a dog. And our mini-van. And I hope I'm in better shape physically, emotionally, and spiritually than I am today. That last one is kind of vague and immeasurable... but we'll see when we get there. Hopefully it will be obvious.

Kids and sleep

2011-10-10T04:14:00.000-07:00

So one time I almost blogged about the three weeks my kids slept in until 8:00 every single day. But then I remembered previous times my kids slept well, and the moment I uttered a word of it to anyone it seemed to somehow anger the Sleep Gods. It is uncanny. I swear, if your child a good sleep don't utter a word to anyone or the sleep you are enjoying will come to a quick end. Yet somehow the reverse is not true. Complain until you are blue in the face about crappy sleep, and it doesn't seem to make them sleep any longer. I don't get it.

Well I can talk about those glorious weeks now because somehow I already ruined it. They started waking up at 7:30... then 7.... then 6:30... and today was a lovely 5:45. What baffles my mind is nothing has changed since the 8:00 days. So I don't know what to do to get it back.

And it's not even so much the sleep I miss. Imagine you have a job. Some days you start at 8. But then some days your boss calls you at 5:30 and tells you, you must be there right now. And no, you don't get to leave any earlier that night. And no, you don't get a longer lunch break. In fact your day will probably be harder than usual because the task you have to deal with is being extremely difficult.... it's something like that. It's like I'm adding 2 hours to my work day with no additional compensation. Plus well rested children are just so much more fun to be around than tired grumpy children.

It's 7:11AM and I've already changed a poopy diaper, fetched drinks of milk, started the dishes (that I should have started last night....) and given one time out to a very whiney 3 year old. It's going to be an awesome day.

Okay I love fall again....

2011-10-07T10:40:00.000-07:00

Live dressed up like... giraffe? at the zoo.

Giant fuzzy caterpillar

I am so tired. I wonder how many times I've typed that sentence since I started this blog? Anyway the weather has been gorgeous and fabulous and all sorts of wonderful the past few days. Which means I get this insane compulsive urge to spend every possible minute outdoors. We went to the zoo, and the park, and ate lunch outside, went hiking at Asbury Woods. My exhaustion doesn't matter when there's SUN to be soaked up. Can I build up Vitamin D and store it for winter? That's what I'm trying to do, as futile as it may be.

Also, why have I all of a sudden found a million things to love about Erie?? Asbury Woods is amazing. It is so beautiful and I can't believe we went all of last year without ever going there. And then there's Romolo's. Oh my heavens... I can not wait to go back there on a date tonight with my hubby. It is so lovely! And Wegmans. I so love Wegmans. And the zoo. We have been loving the zoo lately. And... this weather! I know I'll be singing a different tune in a month or so, but right now it is heavenly.

As far as this pregnancy, everything's been fine. Not much to report. Which is usually a good thing as far as pregnancy goes. I can't believe how fast the time is going. December will be here before we know it!

Funny girls

2011-09-29T07:07:00.000-07:00

So we were making this recipe this morning for chocolate chocolate chip cookies... they are SO good. And the dough is SO good. I gave each girl a spoon full of dough and Abigail looked up at me and said with her mouth full of delicious gooey goodness, "I uff oooo Mommy!" For those of you who don't speak Abigail, that translates to, "I love you Mommy." Which just cracked me up.

And then they started a band with wooden spoons and empty mixing bowls. And Olivia is totally into it. She gives them a count down and says, "Hit it girls!" Where the heck did she ever hear that! And now she's pretending her audience doesn't like her show, and is pretending to get hit with pretend tomatoes. And Abigail is just playing along, screaming at appropriate times and running from tomatoes when Olivia says "Run for your whole life!"

While I type this I'm enjoying a performance by the band.... and Olivia is pounding away on her bowls and just asked me, "Mom do you recognize this song??" .... *crickets*.... Sorry honey. No, no I don't. And Abigail just stopped playing and stood up and took a bow and said, "Thank you... Thank you... great song!"

These kids crack me up.

Baby math

2011-09-27T19:20:00.000-07:00

A typical pregnancy lasts about 280 days. I am currently 207 days into this pregnancy. 280+280+207 = 767 (someone check my math please). 767 days of being pregnant. Doesn't that sound like an awful lot?

Anyway I can't believe I only have approximately 73 days left... or whatever it is. That doesn't seem like enough time to figure out where we're going to put this little guy once he's here. With Olivia I was really all about the nursery. I loved decorating it and having it all ready for her. I had to have the crib all set up (which she didn't sleep in until she was 3 or 4 months or something) and the pack and play, I was a wreck about making sure that was set up in our room. And then she slept in the nursery for like a month or something before we moved to our house. Then there's poor Abigail who slept in our room for only a few weeks before I moved her into the hallway because she was just a loud baby. She wasn't crying, just grunting, cooing, etc. I didn't want to put her in her room yet, but I couldn't sleep with her in the same room as me... so she slept in the hall way in a little bouncer thing. Eventually we put her into a crib... which was shoved into our spare bedroom and didn't have a hint of cuteness. Once we got to PA the girls shared a room and it's been fabulous. It's semi-decorated.

And now we're thinking about where we are going to put this boy. The hallway really wasn't so bad for Abigail - but I really don't like having that as the plan. I mean it just doesn't sound right to tell people our plan is for our baby to sleep in the hallway. So we have a few options. Keep him in our room. Get bunk beds for the girls and put him in a crib in there with them. Or turn our wonderful playroom into a bedroom. For the girls. Or for Aaron and I. Or for the baby. One thing I have learned as I keep popping these babies out is that you really can't have much of a plan. Just go with the flow and do what works. So we'll figure it out eventually and in the mean time I won't worry too much about it.

If you're wondering I'm almost 30 weeks. I'm feeling fine.. just more like 40 weeks. I seriously feel huge and slow and so worn out by the end of each day. I feel like I should be done by now. But I know I still have a long road ahead of me so I'm pushing through. I really do feel great otherwise. Like no back pain, or any pain really. Besides being tired I really feel great. Trying to continue to exercise and eat healthy and do all that stuff that you don't really want to do, especially when you're pregnant, but should do more than ever. So I'm always working on it.

A simple time

2011-09-24T12:14:00.000-07:00

This morning I was just realizing that life is really only going to get crazier. More kids, bigger kids, kids in school, and who knows what lie ahead of us. And some day I will look back at this time with just my two girls and Aaron in school, and I'll miss it.

Today I overheard Abigail asking Olivia if she was happy. It sounded something like this,
Abigail - "Happy, Yaya? Happy?'
Olivia - "Yes Aggigail."
Abigail - "Happy?? Yaya happy?"
Olivia - "YES! I'M HAPPY AGGAIL!!!" (starting to sound frustrated)
Abigail - "YAY!!!" And then she claps.

It was a sweet little moment and I was glad I got to hear it from the kitchen. And again I was just reminded how fast this time will pass. Of course there are the pros to them getting bigger. Like the fact that Olivia has grown so much she can reach the faucet by herself almost wherever we are. Gone are the days of having to pick her up, and balance her on my leg while turning on water, dispensing soap, etc. It's funny because she thinks the bathrooms are just getting smaller. She'll often exclaim, "MOM! Look! This sink is JUST MY SIZE!" It's things like that, and dressing herself, that make me happy she's growing up.

In other news... fall is upon us. I'm really not ready. I'm not sure what it is. Usually I LOVE fall. It gets me so excited and happy, and I just love it. Honestly this year I'm filled with dread because it seems like fall is just this short little respite before the long dreaded winter. And I want to avoid winter as long as possible. Even if it means I have to be pregnant forever I'll take it. I love not having to bundle my little ones up every time we leave the house. I love that they can run outside barefoot. I love playing outside without playing in snow. I love opening my windows and not freezing to death. I am so not ready to say goodbye to these things. So even if the calender says summer is over, and the leaves are changing colors, and the weather's getting consistently cooler, and the sun is setting earlier and earlier.... I'm going to ignore these things until October. Once October rolls around I'll come back to reality. For now I'm going hold onto summer just a little longer.

Love for Livi

2011-09-21T16:29:00.000-07:00

So a million years ago I was 19, single, living in a dorm room in Northern Jersey, attending college at good ol' Ramapo. And I met a great group of girls at church up there. One of them was Julie. I always loved any time I got to spend with Julie. And I always wished her and I were better friends... but ya know life is busy for everyone at that time. Anyway thanks to the wonder of facebook and blogs I've been able to keep in touch with Julie. I've loved reading about her getting married, and then having their first baby. Right around the same time I was having Abigail. Anyway, fast forward to the present, and her sweet two year old Olivia, has been diagnosed with basically stage 5 eye cancer. There is a longer name for it, and a longer explanation of why/how she developed it... but that's the gist of it.

I wish I could help her more. But there is really only so much anyone can do. Especially from across the country. So I'm helping out with a blog fund raiser a few of her friends and family started. Please check it out, spread the word, and donate if you can. I can't imagine having to go through all this, and also having to worry about where the money is going to come from. http://love4livi.blogspot.com/

We make cute girls.

2011-09-20T17:54:00.000-07:00

Girls first camping trip

2011-09-17T18:25:00.000-07:00

All summer long Aaron and I have wanted to go on a camping trip with our girls. One thing or another kept us from this little dream until last night. Our ward was having their camp-out so we knew it was probably our last chance of the season to go camping. And it was about 25 minute drive from our house, with a bunch of people we knew, so if it was a disaster we could leave in the middle of the night drive home, and come back in the morning.

I'm happy to report that we made it through the night, and had a really great time. The only downside was how incredibly cold it was. I am seriously not ready for summer to end. After living in Arizona for 5 yerars, it's been a while since I could say that! But driving home we noticed some leaves already changing colors, and I just tried to focus on the green. Contrast that to last year where I was squealing with delight at the first signs of fall.

The night before I had only gotten a couple hours of sleep, so I was super tired. I slept on an air mattress with Abigail. We snuggled all night for warmth. I will tell you this... it's a whole new level of uncomfortable when you're 28 weeks pregnant, on an air mattress with a one year old on your arm that's now completely asleep (both your arm and the one year old), and you have to roll over because if you've ever been pregnant you know how that goes... laying on one side for too long just doesn't work. Oh and it's freezing... and you have to pee. But you don't dare move and risk waking the little ones that just took two hours to fall asleep. So you lay there and try to just sleep. But you're tent is set up next to a brook and that soothing sound of rushing water... I mentioned the having to pee part, right? And the 28 weeks pregnant? Right. So although I didn't sleep well, it was well worth it.

Our lovely abode. Big props to my hubby for lugging this thing around, setting it up, and taking it down in the same 24 hours.

Me, with my "Abigail hat", and a friend of ours, Hannah.

It was so beautiful!

Olivia with her friend Olivia.

Olivia yelling, "MEEEEEE!" In response to my question, "Who loved camping?"

My kids were so happy. They ran around and played with friends. And got dirty. And laughed a lot. And ate smores. And sang songs. I really wish we could have stayed for a week. Maybe next time. Some things are worth the lack of sleep.

Angels above us, angels around us...

2011-09-09T11:24:00.000-07:00

I've heard this is a phrase that was used by my husband's grandmother frequently. Today I got to experience its truthfulness.

Came home from a play date and started to make some Ramen noodles for lunch. The water was boiling on the stove and I just barely poured into two bowls when Abigail started chucking eggs out of the refrigerator. I leave the bowls on the counter, grab Abigail and tell her to stop, and no no and all that. I grab some paper towels to start cleaning when Olivia lets out a blood curling scream. I look up and she had grabbed her bowl of Ramen noodles that was still scalding hot, and had spilled it all over herself. I leave the egg mess, and run to Olivia. I strip her clothes off and put her in the sink with tepid water and a wash cloth. I leave her there, because Abigail is now trying to finish cleaning the egg mess by herself. I wipe her hands off and stick her in front of the tv while I tend to Olivia.

At first glance it looked like her hand, torso, and leg were pretty badly burned. After she was in the water, it looked better, like it was just red, with one small blister on her stomach. I put some Reliv cream on her, calmed her down, and soon the red spots were fading. The blister is already gone. That water was seriously super boiling hot, I can't believe she wasn't burned worse. And that it somehow missed her face, just such a blessing. Definitely have angels watching over my children.

And I look around at my kitchen floor that I just mopped - now covered in eggs and Ramen... and I think... seriously we're going to add another child to this equation?! Heaven help me, indeed.

2011-09-07T04:32:00.000-07:00

Seriously I have watched this over and over... it makes me laugh every time. And lately I have been sleeping like crap so it really hits close to home. Last night and the night before I never slept for more than 45 minutes at a time. And each time I woke up it took me like an hour to fall back to sleep. Maybe I got like 2 ish hours total. The devil is totally taking over today.

Last day of summer

2011-09-05T10:43:00.000-07:00

I think like most people who grew up on the Jersey Shore, Labor Day to me was always the official end to summer. It was usually spent closing up pools, and getting ready to start school the next day. Today in Erie, it certainly feels like summer just got up and left. Yesterday we were sweltering with 90+ degree temps. Today it's only in the low 60's, and cloudy.

September always makes me think of a new year. I know January is the real new year, but for so long life was measured from one school year to the next, I still haven't let that go. So we have been Erie for over a year now. It is crazy to me to look back on everything that happened from last August until now. We got here. I got strep throat like 2 days later. That was awful. Then not much time passed and my Poppy passed away. The next couple months after that are kind of a cloud of grief, and busyness. Olivia started dance class. We spent a lot of time in New Jersey. Aaron took like 50 million tests and got straight A's... mostly, I think. Spring took its sweet time getting here. Oh and sometime in there I got pregnant again.

Now looking forward to this year... I'm really excited for fall. Pumpkins just make something inside me smile. I love fall festivities and I'm so excited for all that. Then winter will be here... and so will this baby boy. And life as I know it will completely change again. I'm pretty sure every time you add another person into the family everything changes. You just can't predict what it will be like. Three little babies of my own! Yikes. I really can't think past that point yet. Before winter comes we need to decide where we are going to do rotations. Then we'll know what next September is going to bring...

New Look

2011-09-05T05:21:00.000-07:00

Just keeping things fresh around here. :) My Sister-in-law drew me an awesome header... and I can't figure out how to make it be my header. :( If anyone has any experience with that and want to help, well that'd be swell.

Also check my new link to my Erie's Okay! blog. I just got frustrated one night with the lack of decent websites. Seriously it is next to impossible to find information on the internet about things going on in Erie! Nothing is in one place, and many websites were last updated like a year ago. I'm hoping to keep this one up to date with things going on and around Erie.

Olivia's diet.

2011-09-02T11:27:00.000-07:00

Olivia eats the healthiest of anyone in our family. She just naturally wants to eat things that are good for her. I am jealous. Sweets just aren't really her thing. Today for lunch she had a leafy green salad with tomatoes and Italian dressing, and a Greek yogurt with fruit on the bottom, but she stopped eating it when she got to the fruit. So she ate plain greek yogurt.. eww I can't even stand the smell! And she washed it all down with her reliv. It makes me feel like I did something right that she really truly enjoys eating such healthy food.

Then I look at her sister... just licking the ketchup off her fingers, and eating a piece of bread. And I realize it's not me.

My very vocal three year old.

2011-08-29T16:42:00.000-07:00

Olivia has been pretty vocal since she figured out this whole talking thing. I think it's because I have a lot to learn and toddlers can be great teachers. Is she still a toddler? I guess not. Anyhoo - recently she's said somethings that have changed some things I do.

For example, "Mom can you please watch this show with me, and not do anything else?" What a sweet simple request. I realized almost every time she was watching a show I was looking at my phone, on the computer, folding laundry, putting away dishes, etc. So now I am trying to just sit with her and not do anything else.

Then today she got really mad at Abigail because Abigail kept stealing her toys in the bathtub. She had asked nicely for her toys back. She screamed for her toys back. And then she bit Abigail's hand! I couldn't believe it. She hasn't done something like that in a very long time. So out of the tub they went. She was hysterical. Olivia HATES when she knows she did something wrong. She cried so much and so hard she made herself throw up. After she calmed down we were talking and she told me, "Mom, I don't know why, I was just so mad that Abigail took my boat, my brain told me to bite her. My brain just told me. I can't control my brain!" And at age 3 she's probably right. It's awfully hard to figure out how to control these bodies, I'm still working on mine! But we talked a bit about not always doing what our brain tells us to do. I was really impressed with how well she was able to express what she was feeling.

And then sometimes she's just incredibly sweet. For instance...

Today she picked a flower and said it was for daddy. While we were driving home she said it wasn't for Daddy it was for someone driving a car. Someone who's the best cook in the whole wide world. It honestly took me a minute to realize she was talking about me! It made me laugh.

Then tonight when we said goodnight she said she loved me, more than ice cream with sprinkles, and chocolate syrup... and whip cream... and a cherry on top... and...and ...and... And I know she was just stalling bedtime but it was still super sweet. Almost makes me forget the self induced puking that happened just moments earlier.

Sundays

2011-08-28T18:15:00.000-07:00

So I don't really have much to say. A hurricane hit my hometown! My whole life there were always warnings of extreme weather disasters, but really we never saw anything all that bad. This has definitely been the worst they've seen in a very long time. But from talking to my mom it sounds like it wasn't all that bad. They are without power which stinks, but at least everyone is okay and they still have a house. My good ol' dad has been helping the entire neighborhood get water out of their basements.

It's crazy to see how fast stuff like bread and milk fly off the shelves. And how quickly gas stations run out of gasoline! I'm glad we try to be prepared for stuff like this all the time, so when emergency does come up it's not a frenzy of trying to prepare. That said, when we have money I think the first thing I want to buy is a generator. What a life saver that thing has been for my family.

My heart has been really full lately. I've been grateful for the most important things like my family being safe from this hurricane, and the privilege to be a mother... but I also find myself welling up with tears because I'm so grateful that a dishwasher is washing my dishes. Blame the hormones! The other day it just hit me how amazing it is that I can walk two feet into my bathroom, turn a nob and have hot clean water to bathe in. Seriously that is amazing for like 80% of the world, right? Something like that. Anyway I've just been taking a minute to say thanks for the little things. Sure makes life seem grand when you can be grateful for a hot shower.

My 400th post!

2011-08-26T10:13:00.000-07:00

I guess I better make this a good one. Maybe I'll write 400 facts about me... hahahaha... I kid. I don't think I could come up with 4 things about me that you all don't know about me by now.

We are two weeks into our second year of Pharmacy school. And this is where I would like to vent. While it is really hard to have Aaron gone and/or studying almost all of the time, I would never, ever say, "School started, time to become a widow/single mom/ etc." It just rubs me the wrong way when I hear wives with husbands in med school call themselves widows. I mean, really, think about what it would be to be a widow. To not only never see your husband during the day, or night, but to know you will never see him again in this life. And then have that aching worry about how you are going to take care of your family on your own. I'm pretty sure having a husband in medical/pharmacy/law etc school is nowhere near the burden of being a widow. Or even a single parent. Right now, as I see it, Aaron's job is to work hard at building a great future for us. My job is just about everything else. And I'm okay with that. I don't feel like a single parent, because I don't have that huge burden of providing financially for this family. I don't know why I think about things like this... don't get me started when people describe their headaches like an ice pick in their head... would you like to borrow an ice pick and see how it feels? I guess hyperbole just bothers me. And maybe I'm slightly hormonal.

Rant over. So all that said... I do miss my hubby. Days are long. But I really feel like I went to internet rehab. Before our Epic Summer, I was always trying to occupy my children with something so I could just "check one thing" on the internet. After living pretty much without internet for 5 weeks, I realize that those things I was looking were really not that important. Since we've been home I've been more focused on my kids, and less focused on facebook statusses. (In full disclosure, I am letting Olivia watch 30 minutes of television so I can write this while Abigail is napping...) Anyway, it's been good. I've felt a lot more love for those little boogers. I've had more patience. And I just enjoy them a whole more when I'm not thinking of them as a distraction from whatever else I want to be doing.

What the girls are up to... Abigail is adding words to her vocabulary like crazy. She misses NJ like crazy. Every.single.time we get in the car she asks if we're going to my mom's. When I tell her no she cries and cries and cries. And she says in the same order every time, "I eee eee eeee (really, really, really want) Bohdi. And Ziggy. Poppy. Nanny. WAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!" I'm hoping she gets over it soon. It was kind of cute/sad now it's just irritating/sad. She's also been asking for "ammal (animal) choo choo". So today I got to make all her dreams - well half of her dreams, come true, and take her on the zoo train. Her and Olivia were both in their glory. They were just beaming the entire 1 mile train ride.

Olivia has been a big fan of random expressions lately. It cracks me up. The other day she walked out of the house and said, "Wow sure is a nice day out. You can say that again. It sure is a nice day out!" All to herself. Seriously that girl is hilarious without even knowing it. In fact when she tries to be funny it's usually quite sad. Like her world famous knock-knock joke. Knock, knock. Who's there? Sgetti egg. Sgetti egg who? Sgetti egg (insert closest random object here). I have no clue where she came up with this but any time she tells a joke that's it.

I can handle it

2011-08-18T09:56:00.000-07:00

I'm not sure what Abigail's deal is lately but any time we are in the car she is screaming, "MOMMY! MOMMY! MOMMY!" Or just crying and screaming. Usually when we arrive wherever we were going I find out she dropped something, or wants something out of her reach and that's what caused the meltdown.

So earlier I was in the car for a quick trip. Both girls strapped in their car seats. Both girls screaming at the top of their lungs, both upset about something. I am getting frazzled and frustrated and ready to start screaming myself. Then I took a deep breath and the thought came, "If this is the worst they've got, I can handle it." I felt extremely grateful for my screaming children. I thought of people who have lost children, people who can't have children, and even people who have children they don't like. Even though they were both screaming their little heads off, I was so grateful for each of them. If my biggest trial this semester (we measure life in semesters around here, now) is crying kids, I think I'm doing a-okay.

conversations with Olivia

2011-08-17T18:44:00.000-07:00

Today I had a conversation with Olivia that made me experience several different emotions as a mother.

I really want my kids to be hard workers. I want them to know the joy that comes from working hard. So whenever I can I try to make them do little jobs. Today I asked Olivia to wipe the window clean after I sprayed with glass cleaner.

"But I don't waaaaaaaant tooooooooooo.... that's borrrinnngggg..." says my 3-year-old. Already whining about being asked to do one simple thing. I really remember being eager to help as a child. I finally convinced her to come and clean the window. She whined the entire time. I said, "Ya know, Liv, when I'm doing a chore I don't like to do, I think about how happy Daddy will be when he comes home and sees how clean we made the house. That makes me want to work even harder."

Olivia replied, "Yeah and then maybe he will take us to DISNEYLAND!" This is where I thought, "Oh great we have officially spoiled this one. She thinks one clean window = a trip to Disneyland, she's in for a lifetime of disappointment. I told her I didn't think we'd go to Disneyland, but he'd sure be happy. And she said, "Well I still just like thinking about Disneyland when I clean stuff." Well good for you kid, me too. Then she started her random babble that always amuses me and makes me wish I had a tape recorder going at all times.

"Maybe when our baby boy is born, he will go to a really hard school like Daddy. Because he's a boy. And then when he graduates we can celebrate by going to Disneyland!" This is where I fear we are raising a girl who thinks she can't go to college, and I second my guess thought about not sending her to preschool this year. I know this is irrational. I tell her girls can go to hard schools too. She argued and told me hard schools are just for boys. I guess since her dad, and most everyone she knows has a dad in medical school, it has equaled in her little mind that only boys can go. I tried telling her that several of her aunts are in college, and her own mother has a college degree... but this logic is lost on her. At least she wants to celebrate at the right place.

I live for days like this...

2011-08-12T16:52:00.000-07:00

75 degrees. Slight breeze. Nothing but blue skies. Picking raspberries.

Dinner at Wegmans, with super cute new kids area.

Saw Rio at the dollar theater and loved it. (not pictured)

Riding tricycles and eating left over popcorn.

Totally shocked!

2011-08-11T09:58:00.000-07:00

We are having a little BOY!! He did not want to cooperate during the ultrasound. Spent a lot of time hanging out under my belly button which cast shadows making it hard to see what the tech needed to see. But he finally gave us a quick little peak and the tech said she was 100% sure it is a little boy. Olivia had me convinced it was a boy -- but still once you have two in a row of one gender it's hard to imagine having another. We took both girls with us to the appointment. Which was a bit crazy. Probably won't do that again! But it was fun. Olivia's reaction to finding out it was a boy was hilarious. She was acting like we were telling her something she already knew. She was so sure it was a boy. Glad she was right. We are super duper excited, and Olivia wants him to be born "RIGHT NOW!". Of course we'll be happy to wait until Dec.

Our Epic Summer! (With 0 Pictures)

2011-08-07T10:32:00.000-07:00

We left our home in PA on June 14th (or so... I can't remember the exact date). Drove the 450 miles to my parents house. Got settled in with my grandmother while Aaron got ready to start his rotation at Riverview, the hospital near my family. It was a crazy 4 weeks. We spent lots of time with aunts and grandparents. Going to amusement parks, aquariums, parks and beaches. When the 4 week rotation was up we hopped on a plane flew the 2,000 miles to Aaron's parents in Arizona. Where we also spent time with aunts and uncles and cousins and grandparents. We had a blast in Arizona, and the weather wasn't nearly as bad the weather we left in NJ. We left 100+ temps with humidity to AZ's balmy 95, with a nice breeze. It was hot, but much more bearable. After a couple days in AZ we drove 374 miles to Disneyland.

Had a great time in Disneyland. Olivia was tall enough, and excited enough to go on all the "mountain" rides. In Dec. she was tall enough, but pretty hesitant to go on the big rides. This time she loved them all. She was nervous at first, but when she got off she was all smiles and wanting to go again. And thanks to a baby swap pass she usually could go on every ride one more time. I was shocked she even did Tower of Terror twice! We also got to have lunch with the princesses, and breakfast with the characters. We watched the parade, and fireworks. We had to wake our kids up every morning and they easily conked out every night. It was great.

We almost threw a quick trip to Mexico in there as well, but I decided it would have just been too much for this pregnant lady to handle. So we spent a few more days in AZ eating at our favorite resturants and spending time with our favorite people. Then we flew home... well our temporary home anyway, back in NJ. This time staying with my mom since even though she's only 2 miles from my grandmother, we didn't see her nearly enough while we were here. So after one night at my mom's, Aaron and I left our children and drove to Brooklyn.

We stayed at my cousin's apartment in Brooklyn and had a great time. We rode the subway into Manhatten and got delicious pizza, did some sight seeing and met up with our good friends/cousins from AZ. We went to the MET. I hailed a taxi cab for the first time in my life. And then we ate a delicious, over priced, tiny italian resturant. I spent the whole night feeling like a real new yorker. And really proud that I was in a crowd of like 15 people trying to hail cabs from the MET, and I was able to get one to stop for me. Might have had something to do with my obvious pregnant belly that I was trying to stick out as much as possible. :) We rode the subway home late at night. Saw the world's most giant rat. Freaked out. Got the most delicious milkshakes I've ever tasted. While a homeless woman cackled behind us and blew bubbles. Then we passed out and slept in until 11. Got bagels for breakfast. Cleaned up, and then drove out onto Long Island with Sean's friend. We stopped a great little deli and got "Itialian Heros" for lunch. Cannolli's for dessert. Then we headed off to Jone's Beach for a concert. It was an awesome venue. The stage is actually out in the water, and it's just beautiful. We saw Blink 182. Which was interesting. And fun. And I'll leave it at that. Then we drove the 60 miles back to my mom's house - with a quick midnight diner stop.

Now all we have left is to pack up our entire life from the past 6 weeks, and drive 346 miles to Aaron's brother's new place in PA for a quick stop before we finish the 507 mile trip from NJ to Erie, PA.

I am weary. And sore. And feeling like I'm coming down with a cold of some sort. And like 23 weeks pregnant or something around there. The excitement doesn't end though -- on Weds, the day after we get home -- I have my ultrasound to find out if this little squirmy wormy inside me has boy parts or girl parts! I can't wait. Great thing to come home too.

With a heavy heart

2011-06-26T12:44:00.000-07:00

We are in New Jersey having a blast with family. There is a lot I could update about, but only one thing on my mind right now.

My best friend here in NJ lost a baby almost two years ago. She was due the same week I was due with Abigail. We found out the gender of our babies on the same day. Unfortunately. her sweet baby boy was born sleeping at about 26 weeks. She was pregnant again, and set to deliver this little boy on July 12th. Just three weeks away, when she found out she has another little angel baby. This baby was born at 33 weeks 4 days, and was also born sleeping.

Words can't really express how broken my heart is for her. And I hope she doesn't mind me posting this here. But I'm sure any extra thoughts and prayers sent her way would be appreciated. I really can't believe she has to go through this again.

I'm procrastinating.

2011-06-09T10:31:00.000-07:00

Abigail is taking a nap. Olivia is playing quietly in the toy room (which I know won't last long). I have a kitchen that needs cleaning. A living room that needs straightening and vacuuming, a pile of laundry to fold and put away, another basket of folded laundry that never got put away, and I'm sure I could find about a million other things to do. Instead I keep checking my google reader and facebook. I have a bit of a headache lingering from yesterday. But it's no excuse I need to get out of this little funk and get busy.

But first I wanted to finish a thought I started blogging yesterday. My babies are growing up. Olivia can now get into the car by herself. Climb into her carseat and completely buckle herself up, and close the car door. Only another a mother can understand how much easier this has made my life! In a lot of ways she's becoming even more independent. It's bittersweet.

And then Abigail decided to climb out of her crib the other night. So she's now in a toddler bed. Last night was the first night. It took about an hour for them to stop playing and fall asleep, but that's better than I anticipated. And for her nap she had no problems, which I also needlessly worried about. She's also potty trained. Oh, and since Olivia can do her buckle, she also insists on doing the top part of her buckle which she has now figured out how to do.

I hope that they will best friends for their whole lives. Right now they have a love/hate relationship. When Olivia is being nice, and wanting to give Abigail hugs, most of the time Abigail is acting like a little stinker and yells at her for touching her. And then when Abigail is wanting to be sweet, Olivia is the one in a bad mood. But every once in a while they're good moods align and they are the best friends. I live for those moments.

Okay now I've procrastinated enough... time to get to work!

more thoughts on motherhood.

2011-06-06T17:03:00.000-07:00

I've started and saved like 10 posts this week. Nothing seems to come out right once I start typing. But right now I'm feeling the writing juices flowing and just feel like getting out some thoughts.

Being a mom can be really hard. And really great. But let's talk some more about the hard. My kids were sick last week with fevers and runny noses. I was also sick. Saturday morning Abigail woke up at 5:00am, still with a fever, and Olivia was up shortly after, I just didn't want to do it anymore. Both of my girls were miserable. Whining. Nothing would make them happy, and it wasn't even 8:00am. We went and woke up Aaron around 8:15. We all climbed into bed with him. While waking him up, Abigail head butted my nose. I honestly saw stars. Nose hitting hurts! There were tears on my part. And then Olivia hit me in the face with her sippy cup. Both of these were accidents, but for some reason the physical pain, plus the emotional feeling of, "I just don't want to be a mom today" were too much for me. I literally just started bawling. I think I must have scared Aaron completely awake, because he got up and took the kids downstairs. And I just laid there crying, thinking, "What on earth am I going to do when there's another one!!" I just didn't feel like I had the strength to be mom that day. I didn't have it in me to take care of sick kids. I wanted someone to take care of me! I didn't want to break up fights, and tell kids to share and stop hitting. I didn't want to play games. I didn't want to prepare any meals. I didn't want to clean my house that desperately needed cleaning. I didn't even want to cuddle my sick babies. I just wanted to be alone. And I felt it extremely unfair that I didn't have that option. And then I realized how completely selfish I was being. Me, me, me, me. My thoughts did not extend beyond myself. So I got my scriptures and started reading. And I found strength. I got out of bed, and was mom that day. Barely, but I did it. Aaron was a huge help with cleaning, and even took Olivia for a while when Abigail was napping so I got a nap myself.

A lot of being a mom is doing things you don't want to do. With a few moments of getting to do what you want. I'm learning this, and accepting it. Right now, my least favorite, most dreaded of all mommy chores is calling me -- folding laundry. Although it won't be too bad, Aaron's going to help, and we have a movie. So here we go.

Abigail

2011-06-01T06:34:00.000-07:00

My sweet little Abigail doesn't get mentioned much on the blog. She's such a go with the flow kinda gal. Unless Olivia is taking away whatever toy she is playing with or whatever. But she's 19 months today and I realized I haven't updated much about her. She's talking a lot more the last few days. Adding words like buckle, bug and gum to her vocabulary. There's actually quite a few words she can say now I don't think I could list them all. But the most exciting thing of all.... she's almost potty trained! I really believe in starting kids early. I haven't ventured out of the house yet with her in undies, but while we're home she's perfect. The problem she really doesn't speak all that clearly, despite all of her new words. So while we are home she just runs to her potty and goes. But while when we are out and about I know she won't tell me. I'm planning on just taking her to the bathroom as soon as we get wherever we're going, and then before leave, and then when we get home. I'm really proud of her. She's a smart little one. She still uses her paci for naps and bedtime. She's still in a crib but I think she's ready for a toddler bed. She's obsessed with Olivia's bike and cries every time Olivia rides it and she doesn't. The pool opened here this week and she loves swimming with her daddy. Oh how I love my girls.

Honestly someone tell me what to do with this child...

2011-05-31T06:21:00.000-07:00

This morning we baked chocolate chip banana muffins. Olivia was running between the kitchen to help, and the living room to watch Super Why. She kept eating the dough so I banished her to the living room. A few minutes later she comes waltzing back into the kitchen talking to herself, "If mom says no, that means fight harder!"

I was seriously hoping I just heard her wrong. But when I told her no more dough until I filled all the muffins, she said, "See!? Now fight harder!" I wish I knew who she was talking to, it was like she was leading an imaginary army. She didn't even really do anything. I told her if she stuck her fingers in the bowl again she wouldn't be able to have any muffins when they were done. She defeatedly retreated back to Super Why.

Well...

2011-05-27T10:45:00.000-07:00

That's our third little peanut. I'm about 12 weeks along. Due on Dec. 9th... so we'll have a baby Dec. 16th if the pattern continues. Am I ready for three kids? Let's just say I'm really glad pregnancy is 9 long months. I'm excited for another person to join our family. I'm really kinda bummed that he (calling it a he until we know different, just sounds better than it) is coming in December. I can't think of a worse month to have a baby in Erie, PA. I have honestly considered begging Aaron to fly me and the kids to AZ from Jan - April. It was just such a long winter this year. I can't imagine doing it with a newborn baby. But I won't stress myself about that yet. And in that top 3D picture... don't you totally think you can see boy parts??? .... I also think I see eyes and a little mouth that Aaron tells me that's not what it is... so what do I know. But here's to hoping. And of course we make pretty cute girls so we won't be disappointed if it's another sister. But Olivia has already told me it's a boy, since we have enough girls in our family. Guess we'll find out in a few more weeks... or not. I do like surprises.

I'm going to miss this?

2011-05-24T06:27:00.000-07:00

Last night I was ripped from a peaceful sleep to the sound of, "MOOOOOOOOOM!!! MOOOOOOOOOOMM!!!! MOMMMMMMM!!!!!!!!!!!" I go running into her bedroom expecting some sort of disaster. Instead I'm greeted by two wide awake children, perfectly happy and fine. Olivia proceeds to ask me,"Uhhmm... Mom? Mommy?... uuhmmm.... when it's March can we have brownies and candy on my birthday?"

SERIOUSLY!!! And then they were thirsty. Which they probably were since we stopped serving beverages with dinner to cut back on bedwetting (which has helped btw). So got them each a small sip of water. And I can NOT fall back to sleep. I was awake for 3 hours after this. And I got to thinking, all those older ladies of grown kids who tell me I'm going to miss this must have some serious memory problems.

I promise you I am not going to miss:
1:00am wake up calls
Children causing ruckusses anytime we leave the house (ruckusses I tell you!)
Getting a chunk of my shoulder bitten off by an insane 18 month old
Potty training
Wiping butts
Cleaning the same mess a million times a day
Being climbed all over and jumped on anytime I sit down
Taking at least 10 minutes to make any transition at all.

.... I could go on. I'm sure there is plenty I will miss about them being little. These things I will not. Plus more that I was able to think of at 3:00am but have now left my mind.

*I hope this post comes across as light hearted as I meant it. I do love my children and everything that comes along with them. Even all the crazy stuff... otherwise what else would I blog about?

never quite thought about it that way

2011-05-22T10:05:00.000-07:00

"Mom some day I want to marry a boy. Because boys are so cool. They can just pee anywhere they want. They can pee on the ground... on a tree... I want to marry a boy."

Hopefully her standards come up a bit with time.

Our Random Silly Saturday

2011-05-21T10:04:00.000-07:00

There were about 50 million yard sales in Erie today. We tried to go to about all of them. There were a few community ones we went to. We spent about $8 and got an HP printer/scanner/copier (working, with manuals), a play tea set, two strawberry shortcake dolls, stuffed animals, a winter carseat cover thingy, and one of those viewfinder toys with a bunch of little disc things to put into it. I had one as a kid and I LOVED it! I'm so glad Olivia has one. Oh and one random detail I don't want to forget. The girls have this boa that I think Olivia got for her birthday. Abigail is now obsessed with it. She wore it all around the yard sales. A pink feather boa. It was adorable. Anyway... after the yard sale the kids were pretty much done. Tired, thirsty and grumpy. So we came home for some juice and potty. I had really wanted to go to the Zoo Parade today. But we spent too much time at the yard sales. When I was reading about the parade, though I saw some department store downtown by the parade was celebrating it's 125th anniversary. I thought that was pretty awesome that a store has been around and in the same family for 125 years! And they were giving away free lunch to celebrate. Aaron really didn't want to go. And once we got there he really didn't want to get out of the car. It was a bunch of really old people sitting around picnic tables in the back of the store... people that can probably remember the day the store opened (okay I know not really, but probably close!). But I made us go anyway. And I'm glad we did. Free hot dogs, soda, and popcorn. And it was beautiful weather. It was nice to just sit outside... in lovely downtown Erie. Surrounded by the locals. ;)

Oh and all this was after we went to Old Navy before 7:00am. That little adventure was just the girls and I. All in our pajamas. It was pretty crazy. At least a few people were running to bins they had set up for sizes. Olivia was like, "Mom those people are running! We need to run too!" It was total mob mentality. She started going crazy grabbing flip-flops like a mad woman. It wasn't nearly that crazy, but she was having fun. There was a limit for 5 per customer so I got 2 pairs for myself, 2 for Liv, and 1 for Aaron. Then I felt bad and got Abigail her own pair that wasn't part of the sale, but still only like $2 or something. And they were giving away fruity pebble bars. Just adding to the randomness. So that was breakfast.

Olivia and Abigail also like to pretend they are dogs lately. In the car Olivia started calling Abigail, Alfred. Apparently that's Abigail's dog name. Olivia's is Martha. And right now Olivia is playing with the dolls pretending they are on the jungle cruise at Disneyland.

random.

sleep deprivation and motherhood

2011-05-17T00:44:00.000-07:00

Olivia wets the bed like every single night. I am determined to be more diligent about doing something about it. Tonight I realized I basically reward her every time she does it. I come in, change her sheets, lay with her for a few minutes and then sneak out. Well hello! She definitely knows what she's doing. So now we'll try limiting her liquids after 5:00. And I'm going to wake her up and take her to the bathroom before I go to bed. And hopefully that will fix it.

Because right now it's 3:30 am. And I fell asleep after midnight because I couldn't fall asleep last night. I know the kids will be up by 7. I hate nights like this. I can't even tell you how grumpy it makes me.

And another thing that makes me grumpy... Erie's weather forecast. http://www.wunderground.com/US/PA/Erie.html

It will disgust. There is a little dark rain cloud every SINGLE day as far as you can see. With highs in numbers like the 50's. Honestly, this is MAY! It's been raining since Sunday, which isn't even that long... and it's already wearing on me. Today it was like 43 degrees. That's just crazy! It will be June in like 2 weeks. We did have a few nice days, and I'm glad we made the most of them... I just miss AZ in times like these. 100 degrees sounds really nice about now. Nothing a hose and an otter pop can't fix.

Alright let's see if I can squeeze a couple more hours of sleep in before my day really has to begin.

Still Small Voice

2011-05-16T11:20:00.000-07:00

Olivia and I were driving to the grocery store. Out of seemingly no where she asks, "Mom what's a conscience?" I told her it was a little voice that told us right from wrong. I told her we usually call it the Holy Ghost, or the Spirit. If we listen closely we can hear it tell us what to do, and tell us what is right. I was feeling pleased with myself and this spiritual bit of knowledge I was teaching my daughter. A few moments later I hear in a soft whisper from the backseat, "Cuuppcaaake.... cuuuupcake.... get Olivia a cuuuupcaaake." And then in a louder voice, "Hey Mom! Did you hear that? *back to a whisper* cuuupcaaake.."

She really is too smart for her own good. I had a good laugh. And we did enjoy a cupcake together at the grocery store.

random rambling

2011-05-15T11:57:00.000-07:00

Really a lot has been going on since Easter. I just haven't felt like blogging. Well I did feel like for like 5 minutes the other day - it happened to be the day that blogger was having a bad day. And then I lost my motivation. When certain things happen in my life, I feel like I need to blog about it because it's the type of thing EVERYONE blogs about. Like, we went to Palmyra, NY. I should be putting up tons of pictures, and telling you all about it right? And then we got to spend a week at my mom's which was lovely. And I really should have posted something great about my mom, and mother-in-law and Nanny, on Mother's Day. But I didn't blog about any of that so I started to feel like I could never blog again because I missed so much. Silly logic, I know.

And now I don't really have anything to say. Just wanted to update. Olivia has said some funny things, but I forgot to write them down and I can never remember. This morning she was playing with her doll house. She had all their furniture outside of the house on top of another toy. She told me that they were having a "yard sale". For some reason that just cracked me up. Her Aunt Allison would be so proud! :)

Aaron start his first rotation on Monday. It has been a glorious two weeks having him home. I am really going to miss him. It didn't take long to get used to having him around so much. In fact thinking about tomorrow and him having to leave in the morning is starting to depress me. It will be good to get back into a normal routine though.

Today we got a flat tire on the way to church. It was 47 degrees. And pouring rain. Aaron saved the day and even got us to church before the sacrament. My hero. I felt bad. I couldn't stop laughing about it. I know I wouldn't be laughing if I was the one out there freezing my rump off. But the situation seemed pretty funny from my nice toasty spot in the car.

Easter Pictures

2011-05-03T07:05:00.000-07:00

We had a wonderful Easter this year. My mom sent the girls' those cute baskets. I should have gotten better pictures of them. They were really cute. The girls woke up to Easter Bunny footprints on our couch! And hidden baskets and eggs. Then we went to church, took naps, and then enjoyed a wonderful dinner at Aaron's cousin's house. It was really a perfect day! And I just love these pictures. Glad Aaron embarrassed me and asked someone to take a picture outside the church building.

Compliments from Strangers

2011-04-26T15:56:00.000-07:00

Today was fairly nice out, weather wise. My kids have been fighting some nasty cold, cough thing for a couple days, but we decided to go out while it was warm and ride bikes for a bit. Side note, Olivia is the flippin cutest thing on a tricycle I have ever seen. So we were riding around our parking lot. Well, Olivia riding, me carrying Abigail trying to keep up and give Olivia a push whenever she gets stuck. We took a few minutes to look at some dead worms on the ground. Collected some berries that had fallen from a tree. Looked at the flowers blooming. All of a sudden a voice came from a window - "You are so good with your girls." It startled me. I looked up and saw this lady, probably about 80 years old in her kitchen window. She went on, "I always see you out here with them. Playing with them in the snow. Letting them splash in the puddles in the rain. Blowing bubbles. That is wonderful. You are a great mother to those girls. I wish I had spent more time with my children when they were young. I seemed to only care about how clean my floors were. Now that time is gone, and I wish I spent more time with them like that." I laughed and said I should probably spend a little more time worrying about how clean my floors are. But her eyes were so full of regret as she told me my kids would never remember how clean my floors were, but they would always remember those times playing outside with me.

I hope she's right. I know I'll always remember these times... and I certainly won't remember all the facebook statuses I read every day, and the emails that seem so important at the moment. Anwyay it was nice to hear, even from, or maybe especially from, a complete random stranger.

More Olivia Funnys...

2011-04-23T19:21:00.000-07:00

Every night before Aaron and I fall asleep we laugh about things Olivia has done or said the past 24 hours. Tonight I happen to have the laptop handy so you can be part of our conversation (this might not be her funniest material, but it's our every day)

Yesterday it was 41 degrees. I was rushing Olivia to the car. She closed her eyes and said, "Ahh that's better." I asked her what she was doing, she said, "I'm pretending I'm on the beach in Messico! Ah it's so warm here!!" (She may or may not have heard me do this once or twice.)

I asked her if she wanted me to put on the radio and she said, "Yeah! I want country music!" Where she learned music genre names, I do not know. But I'm glad she's requesting country.

She's also started calling her bottom - or anyone's a "rump roast".

Tonight when I was giving her a bath she asked to wash my feet. I asked her why she told me, "So when the Easter Bunny comes he won't say P.U! And leave without giving us candy." Well then, wash away little one.

Also, it was gorgeous here today. Like 70 degrees or something fabulous. Weather like this gets all the kids outside. So we joined some game going in our little shared backyard. It was so fun to watch Olivia play pretend with these big girls, and boy. The boy was an evil king, who took the girls' power away. Olivia had the power of ballet. They tried to stop the evil king by showing him their best moves. But he stole their power. Olivia came up with the idea of going to the Fairy Office and getting more magic. Which is conveniently located just around our building, and has an endless supply of magic. All the while, Abigail ran around with a stick giggling when others were giggling, or yelling when others were yelling.

It's been a good 24 hours.

Wish List

2011-04-22T17:10:00.000-07:00

If I could wish for just one material thing -- just one anything I could buy at Sam's Club, or Best Buy... or ebay... it would be a fancy-shmancy-what-the-heck-does-she-need-that-for camera. And I really don't know much about photography. But I really want to learn. We got an $85 Samsung point and shoot (that's what I hear people with fancy cameras call regular cameras) last summer. It's fine, I guess.... Sometimes I can be very ungrateful. I mean there are people in the world with no camera at all, and rely on their memories for pictures. I have a lovely Samsung something or other, 12 mgp and optical zoom.... but this is how almost every picture I took today turned out:

So frustrating!!! But there were some cute ones so here ya go...

Abigail slipped and fell, then just laid there all cool like, "yeah I meant to do that"

She had this dazed look for most the Easter Egg Hunt

See... I just know if I had a fancy camera they both would have been looking at it.

This was just a sweet moment... Olivia helped Abigail get a drink from the water fountain.

So if anyone out there in the world wanted to all go in together for my next birthday, Christmas, anniversary, Easter, 4th of July, etc present... a camera would be nice. But ya, know I'm just sayin. I mean I'm happy with my little camera. And these wonderful pictures...

My Epic Failure of a Morning.

2011-04-20T15:34:00.000-07:00

Today was really miserable. Let me give you the run down.
I change Olivia's leotard three times.
I spend 10 minutes looking for Abigail's shoes.
I bribe, threaten, and speak through gritted teeth to get hair done.
Then I load two kids into car seats to start the drive in the pouring rain to dance class.
About half way there I thought I remembered something about spring break. And class being canceled.
I hope I'm wrong.
I wasn't.
It's 10:30... I think, "Well Aaron is done with school at 11, so might as well head back to LECOM to pick him up."
Then I got a text. "Ambassador meeting, think it will be done at 11:30, but don't know." Which we had spoken about several times, I just forgot. (Noticing a pattern here?)
The logical person would just go home, right? I'm not logical. Since I'm already out, I figure I'll go drag my kids around the mall. Or Old Navy or something.
Pull into mall parking lot. Abigail is out cold. I should have woken her up. Instead, looking at the clock seeing it's 11:10, I figure I can sit in the parking lot of LECOM for 20 minutes.
20 minutes turned into 50. During which Olivia told me she had to go to the bathroom. And then peed in her car seat since I didn't know what to do -- leave Abigail in the car alone? Wake Abigail up? I hoped she could hold it. She couldn't. After waiting 40 minutes I get a text from Aaron, "Want me to get a ride home?" I cried when I read it. I didn't even know what to say. But before I could respond he told me meeting was over and he'd be right out.

So basically I spent my whole morning getting ready for something I didn't have to go to. Then spent 2 hours in the car for absolutely nothing. Well to pick Aaron up from LECOM which is a 10 minute errand most days. Oh and during these glorious 2 hours I got a text from a friend inviting me to a birthday lunch for a mutual friend. I really wanted to go. Instead of going I sat in a pee smelling car for two hours. Oh yeah, and Abigail woke up after that 40 minute car nap and never napped again.

I spent the rest of the day folding and putting away laundry. And trying to write this blog post. Both of which were interrupted one too many times. Is it bedtime yet?

Feeling like a grown up

2011-04-18T07:24:00.000-07:00

Sometimes random things make me feel grown up. Nevermind the fact that I have a husband, two children and a home I take care of. No, it's not these things that make me feel grown up. At least not directly. It's the smell of the roast in the oven. That' I'm cooking. For my family. And it's fixing small plastic toys with super glue. It's finding the ticket stub from my first date with Aaron and literally being in total shock that we went to a movie that started at 9:50 PM. Yes, it is these little things that make me realize I'm really a grown up.

Sorry for the lack of update. We've had lots going on. We even had our first overnight house guests!! It was a blast to have my brother and sister-in-law here with us for the weekend.

Last night at 4:30am I heard, "MOMMY! MOMMY!" I went into girls room to find Olivia, completely naked, wide awake with every light on in their room and every book from their shelf in her bed with her. I brought her into our bed so she wouldn't wake up Abigail (who had amazingly slept through the whole ordeal). She tossed and turned and squirmed until 5:30.

I have been thinking I want to go on a camping trip with our little family. And then I think about how much I enjoy sleeping. And I change my mind.

Yesterday/Today

2011-04-10T16:34:00.000-07:00

So yesterday was amazing. However the memories of its wonderfulness are being drowned out by the disaster that was today. But as I type it's call coming back to me.

I went and did XBike with my friend Staci in the morning. It was awesome. I felt good about myself. I came home and cleaned some. And then I got to go get the most amazing facial. It was seriously the most relaxed I have ever been in my life. It was bliss. And afterwards my skin felt amaaaaazing. So unlike my skin. I love that about facials. Anyway, then came home cleaned some more, got all dolled up and went a date with my hubby. It was wonderful. Dates are always wonderful. We went out to eat, and then to Sam's club where we realized our age by the items in our cart. Diapers, milk, and a children's book. We laughed. And felt so free for 2 hours. Lovely.

This morning the kids woke up crying at 5:45am. Aaron brought them in bed with us. Which lasted for 15 minutes. Then Aaron took them downstairs while I went back to sleep until 8:30 - that was the best part of today. They were miserable and cranky right up until it was time for church. Then they were even worse. We go to church for 3 hours. Today was followed by a teacher training meeting right after church - so 3 and a half hours. The first hour was spent trying to listen and be reverent, while trying to keep quiet a 1.5 year old. The next two hours were spent trying to entertain 15 two year olds. During my kids nap time. So Abigail got an itty bitty nap when we got home, O never slept. They were just SOO grouchy all day. Unbelievable how that whining can just grate on you. Dinner wasn't great. Kids wouldn't eat. Just blah.

On the other hand - it was 78 degrees on the way home and we got to eat lunch outside. That was nice.

Sorry if you heard this one already...

2011-04-07T18:06:00.001-07:00

I posted this on facebook, but I want to document it here where I will have it forever.

Tonight as I was getting the kids ready for baths Olivia ran into my room. She came back with a bra in her hand. She handed it to me and said, "Here Mom, here's your boobie-trap!"

I almost died.

Sexualization of breast cancer.

2011-04-06T11:07:00.000-07:00

I read an article about this once. I tried googling and it and couldn't find it again. So I'll try to form my own opinion and tell this in my words.

I hate when I see things that say "Save the ta-ta's" or the boobies, or whatever other slang word sounds cute or sexy. I hate when I see people posting pictures of underwear on their Facebook page to help promote awareness of breast cancer.

For one thing - I'm pretty we are all well aware of breast cancer by now. Thanks to the large commercialization of all things pink in the month of October. And posting a picture of your bra really isn't DOING anything.

Breast cancer isn't sexy. It isn't cute. I think that by doing things like this we are belittling what this disease is. Now I feel like I can't take all that strong of a stand on the topic. I have never had breast cancer, and I'm lucky enough that I've never watched someone I love suffer and die from breast cancer. But I do know people who have. And I am sure they will tell you there is nothing sexy about losing your hair. Or your breasts.

I imagine if I did have breast cancer, and lost my breasts and was in fear of losing my life I would not feel kindly towards people sporting shirts with slogans like "Help the Hooters". I cringed when I saw someone post "Feel them up Friday". Apparently encouraging your monthly self breast exam. I have nothing against self examinations. I know they have helped a lot of people catch cancer early enough to treat. But "Cop a feel" and "feel them up" just seems a bit much. It also seems to be getting worse. I saw a t-shirt the other day that said, "Don't let cancer steal second base".

And, if I remember right from the article I read, other less sexy cancers are having a hard time coming up with funding. Apparently no one wants to buy t-shirts that encourage colonoscopies.

Am I being prudish? Does anyone else feel this way?

ELMO! In pictures

2011-04-03T17:18:00.000-07:00

Thrilled she got this flag.

Any clue how long it takes to get a 3 year old and 1 year old to look this cute? It was a lot of work!

My mom was so generous and got us tickets to see Elmo's green tumb... third row from the front!!

Abigail wasn't so sure at first. But by the end she was thrilled.

And we'll end on the funny! Seriously how can you not laugh looking at Abigail's face?

I really do love this life.

What Kind of Blogger Am I?

2011-04-02T19:03:00.000-07:00

This is a question that keeps puzzling me. I know I think about weird things. This blog started as a place for me document my pregnancy. I never really thought about anyone else reading it. Then one day I realized other people did this too, and they didn't call it their online journal, but a "blog". So then I put a link on my myspace. Oh yeah myspace. And I knew family and a few friends were reading it. So it became a place for me to keep those people updated on my life while I lived far away from most of them. Meanwhile blogging became THE thing. Like who doesn't have a blog? Seriously. And some people started making money with their blogs! Like lots of money. I won't lie. I love to imagine me getting paid to write. Even if it was pennies. It's appealing. But am I.. ya know.. cool enough? And what would people think of me promoting my blog, if I was doing it make money? Because we all know people who want to make money are evil. I can't handle people thinking I'm evil.

And then it raises the question - if I did a have a blog that made money what kind of blog is it? Like, I'm not a food blog, or a political blog... am I humor blog? Do I need to fit into a category? Also I don't have nearly a good enough camera to be a "cool blog".

So I don't know what I am. But I'll just keep doing what I'm doing. Soon I'll post pictures of our awesome time at Elmo's Green thumb this morning. (But it's not funny - so it doesn't fit into my humor blog category. Aaron needs to get home soon, I worry about the weirdest things when I'm up late alone.)

Six years ago.

2011-03-30T12:49:00.000-07:00

Let's go back to 2005 a minute, shall we? I had been living in Arizona only a few short months. And I had my eye on this certain someone. I thought he was charming. And intelligent. And confident. And handsome. My roommate kept telling me I should ask him out. No way, I replied again and again. If he's interested he will ask me out. After a few weeks I decided never mind, I would ask him out. Or at least ask him for his phone number. Roommate and I rehearsed it over and over. What I would say. How I would say it. And then the moment came. I went to class and he wasn't there. The only day he was absent the entire school year. Figures. But then the next week he was there again. And after class he said - "Ya know, the other day I was going to ask you to go to the Easter pageant with me a few of my friends." To which I quickly replied, "Really?! *trying to suppress high pitched squealing* Well... uh.. yeah that would have been fun! Maybe.. we could.. ya know... do something else sometime?" And he coolly said, "Yeah that'd be cool." "So we should like, exchange numbers." "Yeah totally." Remove cell phones from pocket. "So what's your number?" Caught up in my excited nervous frenzy I give Aaron my parents land line number. After he entered it I realized it. "Oh wait! That's the wrong number. My number is...." And Aaron began to think I was giving him a fake number. I got his number. I called roommate on the way home with my good news. I arrived home to her and her boyfriend at the door demanding that I call him. They would not let me watch my favorite show at the time until I called him and invited him on a date THAT night. It was their only night off work for another week. I was way to embarrassed to call him that soon. But the pressure was too much. I called him. Hours after getting his number.

There's more to the story, that's really quite embarrassing (as if the rest of this story wasn't embarrassing enough...) so I'll spare you those details (like the title of that tv show I so desperately wanted to watch, I broke every rule in First Dates 101). That night was 6 years ago today. And it was the start of something wonderful.

Swag bucks

2011-03-29T17:54:00.000-07:00

So I signed up for swagbucks probably two months ago. I'm not very hardcore about it. But I do use it every day. So far I've "won" $10 in Amazon gift cards.

I thought I'd do a little post about Swagbucks... and if any of you lovely readers wanted to sign up, well by all means feel free to use this link. http://www.swagbucks.com/refer/MesaMommy

So swagbucks is a search engine. It's not that great of a search engine for complex things like, "Why does my 16 month old keep making dinosaur noises?". But it works great for searching for any website you frequent. What I do is, before any website I go to, I first go to swagbucks and then type in "facebook" or whatever website I want to go to. Then I click the link from swagbucks and it takes me to my page.

I have found I usually win once in the morning and then again in the afternoon, and possibly again in the evening. I've never won more than 3 times in one day.

When I first signed up I tried doing surveys, and all that other stuff. But mostly I just do the search. Sometimes I will just search for nonsense in a hope to get swagbucks. Ya know in my free time.

There are also Swag codes. I have never gotten bucks from those. They are usually hidden in some random websites and takes too much time for too little bucks. There are also videos you can watch for 2 sb. And there games you can play that randomly award sb. There are also a lot of offer things - like if you buy a groupon, but do it through swagbucks you can earn a lot that way. I've also never done that.

And then there is the referral program. I have no clue how it works since I have no referrals. Well I have 2, but I haven't earned any swagbucks from them. My understanding is if you use that link to sign up, I earn points for every point you earn.

So I guess this wasn't really very informative about Swagbucks, and more of just a plea for you to sign up. My plan is to save up Amazon gift cards all year and then use it to pay for Christmas presents. Good idea, huh? Maybe you want to do it too?

Stole from Mel.

2011-03-28T18:35:00.000-07:00

So I was reading my blogging friend Mel's blog and I loved this list she had.

1. Do something for someone else.

2. Do something for myself.

3. Do something I don't want to do that needs doing.

4. Do a physical exercise.

5. Do a mental exercise.

6. Do an original prayer that always includes counting my blessings.

I think this is something I could live by. The two things that will be the biggest challenge for me are doing something I don't want to do that needs doing, and physical exercise. The other things come pretty easily for me. Anyway I thought this was great and wanted to share. I'll try to do an update post in a few weeks and let ya know how it's going.

Maybe I'm doing better than I thought...

2011-03-28T08:46:00.000-07:00

(Please ignore my ever-changing banner... I'm working on it.)

I think I am probably the most patient mother. Even to a fault. I let my kids get away with way too much. It's something I'm constantly trying to be better at. Kids need boundaries, right? Usually my boundaries are - as long as you're not hurting someone you're fine. Climb on the couch, sure. Playdough in the living room, why not? I'm way too relaxed about these things. So today I asked Olivia and Abigail to clean up their room. This is the first time I've ever really made Olivia do a big job like that, so you can imagine my surprise when they hopped right to it. I was straightening up my room, and I took a break and stood in their doorway to check on them. Abigail was behind Olivia undoing everything she did. And then laughed her head off. Olivia turned to her and said,

"Abigail! Stop it! If we don't clean this room right MOM IS GOING TO KILL US!"

Badgers

2011-03-26T22:23:00.000-07:00

So sometimes Olivia hears a word, and then makes a connection in her mind to what that word means. I can't think of another example right now, but it's happened a few times and it's usually hilarious.

Today she was playing with Abigail and pretending she was cop. She'd yell "Stop!" and throw a tissue at Abigail, saying she was giving her a ticket. Then she asked me to pretend I was speeding in a car. Since this required no moving from my comfy spot on the couch I agreed. I pretended to be upset I was getting "pulled over". I asked her if I was going to have to go to jail. She said, "Nope, I'm just going to sit here with you until my badge-er gets here."

When I asked her what a badger was she went on and on with this long story that had nothing to do with answering the question about what a badger is. But my question was answered when Abigail toddled into the room and Olivia exclaimed, "There! My badger! He's taking you to jail!"

Olivia says...

2011-03-25T06:00:00.000-07:00

"Mom, can I be in charge at the museum? So if I see anyone being bad I can bust them?"
"The hardest part about being a kid is... being a kid."
"Yuck, these eggs taste so irritating."
"If I drink my apple juice, will my boobies get big? No? What can I drink to make my boobies get bigger?"
I don't think any of this would be as funny if it wasn't for the fact that this child just turned 3! THREE!

A poop post

2011-03-23T09:29:00.000-07:00

When Olivia was the age Abigail is now - I was ready to potty train her. In fact I'm pretty sure she was basically potty trained at this age. At least with pooping. I remember my goal was that I wanted her completely trained by Nursery (which she started at 18months). Abigail has been coming to me with a diaper when she's poopie. I'm thinking she might be ready. But I'm SO not. At all. But this morning she was crying to sit on the little potty. I have this fear that if I don't encourage it now it will be a nightmare when I am ready. So I took her diaper off and let her go bare bottom and see what happens.

She pooped on the floor. Right in front of me. If I wasn't so busy reading I would have realized it. I was a much less lazy mom when I just Olivia. She started tapping on my magazine, and yelling. I looked up and saw it. Poop. Awesome. Get her cleaned up. Get it cleaned up. And give up and put a diaper on her. Meanwhile, Olivia is just completely disturbed by this. She has been lecturing Abigail for the last 10 minutes about pooping on the potty. And she made Abigail a "chart" that says "No pooping on the floor". I can tell that's what it is because she brought me a piece of printer paper with circles drawn on it and told me, "Mom, I made Abigail this chart. It says NO POOPING ON THE FLOOR. Ever again!" It cracked me up and made me proud all at once. Maybe I'm onto something here though. Maybe I can leave the potty training entirely up to Olivia....

2011-03-21T18:32:00.000-07:00

So this one time I thought I'd never be able to get pregnant. I really, truly lost all hope. And I bawled my eyes out. I told Aaron that he didn't realize how serious this was. That I really felt like my only purpose in life was to become a mother, and if I could not be a mother then, well, I felt like I had no purpose. And then I cried some more. I remember the look in Aaron's eyes as I said this. It was a cross of this unconditional love, and a fear that he might have to commit me to a mental hospital. I've seen that look a few times since, come to think of it. Anyway, my point is - I really, really, really really wanted to be a mom. Like forever. And now I am. Sometimes I totally take it for granted. I forget that empty feeling. I get lost in the exhaustion, and refereeing that has become my every day. I need to remind myself sometimes, that yes it is hard. It is so hard. But my life has never felt more complete. My joy has never been more full. Have I sacrificed a lot? Yeah, probably (mostly sleep). Do I ever wish I could take it back? Never. And that's my beef with that stupid commercial. Motherhood is so much more fulfilling than fancy houses, vacations, and even degrees. Those things are nice and important, but to me, motherhood is the greatest gift I have been given. And it might mean a change of plans, but certainly not an end. I hope some day we'll have a fancy house, and go on a nice vacation, but right now I'm thrilled to be playing with my babies in our little apartment.

Just like I always wanted.

This commercial angers me.

2011-03-20T12:34:00.000-07:00

Okay seriously!! In case you don't have one minute fifteen seconds to spare, or if you haven't seen it on TV let me summarize for you. Women walking around this imaginary store looking at their dreams. A handsome guy, a beautiful house and car, a degree etc. Each time they start to grab their dream item, someone (representing pregnancy) comes and snatches it away. What are they implying??!? And then when the stork is chasing that lady and she turns her head and pushes it away and shakes her head no - I hate that part. Seriously.

Okay first let me clarify. I am in no way against any form of birth control. Please - if you don't want a baby use some kind of birth control. That's cool. But now that I've gotten that disclaimer out of the way, SERIOUSLY!! It angers and saddens me that they are telling women they can't have a career and a baby. Or an education and a baby. Basically this commercial makes me feel like having a baby will destroy all your dreams. I literally change the channel any time it comes on.

Am I alone in my seething hatred for this commercial?

Kodak Gallery

2011-03-19T14:06:00.000-07:00

So if you have a Kodak Gallery account I think you can view these photos.

http://www.kodakgallery.com/gallery/creativeapps/slideShow/Main.jsp?sourceId=533754321803&cm_mmc=eMail-_-Share-_-Photos-_-legacy&localeid=en_US&h=1

Otherwise, sorry. They are the only pictures I have of Olivia's birthday party. I totally slacked with charging my camera. My mom reminded me later I should have gotten a picture with all the kids. I totally should have. I'm kicking myself now. Oh well.

Right now Aaron is out with the kids - scratch that - Aaron just returned with the kids. Wow that went way too fast! He took the kids to the store and I guess I spent too much of my free time on facebook and loading the dishwasher. Because times up already.

It's been a good week. I can't really remember too many details but it's been good. Well time to make the donuts... or the dinner in this case...

2011-03-18T06:41:00.000-07:00

So I'm really not feeling well. I don't have a fever - I don't think - but my throat hurts, my nose is a bit congested, and I just feel WIPED out. No fun. I hate feeling like this, because I don't feel like I'm really sick, and I should just suck it up and do what needs to be done. But all I want to do is lay on the couch all day and let my kids run a muck. And deal with it when I feel better. The kids woke up before 6:00am today. That doesn't help. So Abigail is getting a rare morning nap. Olivia is watching SuperWhy and I'm debating going to a birthday lunch for a friend. I really wish I was sick enough to not feel guilty for feeling like this.

We have been really busy lately. Olivia's birthday party was a blast. We are so grateful for everyone who came. And she definitely got more than spoiled with all of her gifts. We've been having a lot of fun playing with everything.

Yesterday we had fun for St. Patrick's Day. I made green eggs and ham for breakfast. We made a leprechaun trap. And went to a luncheon/play date thingy. It was a lot of fun. The girls were actually really pretty good. I define good by how much the cooperate when I tell them it's time to leave. They were good. And then Olivia could not stop hurting herself all afternoon. Anyone remember that scene in Little Giants when the little kid shows up and his mom has him duct taped in this foam body armor? Yeah, that was seeming like a really good idea after about the third bout of crying. She tripped and fell and cut her lip on the step up into our apartment. She bit her nails too low and made it bleed twice. She cut the side of her finger when writing with sidewalk chalk. She burned herself on the roasting pan minutes after I took it out of the oven. And who knows what else. There were a few more random things in there. Then this morning she walked into the coffee table and started to cry that she hurt her leg. I am honestly contemplating making her sit on the couch on all day.

We interrupt this blog....

2011-03-15T08:58:00.000-07:00

Every blog post I have started this week has been interrupted. It is frustrating. I started a post about Olivia's birthday party and then for the first time all day Aaron wanted to have a real conversation. (Not frustrating, glad he wanted to chat... just why during my blogging time?! I think I may have overreacted and he'll probably never initiate a conversation with me ever again.) Then I couldn't get back into my blogging vibe. I started this post about the Ides of March and Julius Caesar and all this smart sounding (not really) Shakespeare talk and my children keep interrupting. Apparently Sesame Street is only captivating if I'm sitting on the couch watching it with them.

Right now I am letting them eat snow cones with fruits snacks buried inside them. With music playing. And a bubble machine blowing bubbles. And I've still been interrupted 5 times while writing THIS post.

Some day I will let you all know about the party and the ides of March. Maybe in about 15 years.

Olivia says...

2011-03-12T18:17:00.000-08:00

"Ah! I'm so embarrassed! Sebastian saw me with no shirt on!!" - Olivia, yes talking about her goldfish.

"Abigail! Stop it! You are IRRITATING!" - Olivia to Abigail in the bathtub, when Abigail probably was in fact being irritating.

"Uhm.. Mom? I think somebody put a commercial in this book." - Olivia, while I was reading her a book from the library about St. Patrick's Day. Apparently anything boring qualifies as a commercial.

Did she really just turn 3 a few days ago?

Emotions of a Mommy on first child's birthday

2011-03-10T05:04:00.000-08:00

I think every time your first born has birthday there is that feeling of - "I can't believe I have a(n) [fill in age here]!!!" For me today, can't believe I have a three year old. 3 years!! That used to seem like such a long time. I mean high school was only 4 years. Now it's a blink of an eye.

I can literally remember like it was yesterday, feeling like Olivia would never be 4 months. Ever. I read on some Le Leche League message boards that 4 months was some magical nursing number, and by 4 months almost all babies had figured things out. I told myself, if I made it 4 months and things were still the way they were, then I would quit. I don't remember when things got better with nursing, but by 4 months things were definitely much better. That first year of her life was pretty difficult. She pretty much always had a cold. She didn't nap. And I nursed her to sleep every night for that first year. Getting her to bed was an hour long production and took its toll on me. Oh and I found out I was pregnant before her first birthday. Fun stuff. So her second year was shadowed by pregnancy and the arrival of her sister. And truthfully life is a blur from the moment I had Abigail. There are of course moments that stand out, but overall, in general, I can't recall much.

I had a moment yesterday at her dance class where I teared up looking at her. She was trying so hard to listen and please me. She's the youngest in her class, and in this fleeting moment she looked like such a BABY. Her little face smiled at me, and gave me a thumbs up after she jumped over a mat. And I guess seeing her next to all these older girls, and not her 16 month old sister, she just seemed so little. I literally went back in my mind to when she was 4 months. Finally that magical 4 months I never thought we'd get to. And now here we are on her third birthday. I am so proud of the little person she is. I am hoping 3 brings more obedience. Maybe stop pushing the limits so much. I already know it means she's no longer free at most buffets and Disneyland. She will likely start preschool this year. She is so amazingly brilliant and funny and beautiful, and caring.

We got her a goldfish for her birthday. She named him Sebastian. Totally unprompted that's what she came up with. And she loves him. I hope he lasts at least a few months.

Messes

2011-03-08T11:28:00.000-08:00

A friend posted a quote on my Facebook Wall. “A two-year old is kind of like having a blender, but you don't have a top for it.” - Jerry Seinfeld.

She then asked for me to "please tell her it wasn't true lol". I know this friend is a faithful reader of my blog, so it made me realize I must not post nearly enough about the messes I deal with every day. This post is for you, Laura ;)

Today the kids were taking a bath and having a "tea party" while I sat and played with them. Our laundry room is right outside the bathroom so while they were happily playing I decided to switch out the laundry. I came back into the room and the entire roll of toilet paper was in pieces in the bathtub. Have you ever tried getting little bits of sopping wet toilet paper off two toddlers? That was nothing compared to the tub. It was like a Papier-mâché nightmare.

While I was cleaning that Olivia was dumping her cup of orange juice into her bowl of pretzels, creating a sticky, salty bowl of messiness.

While we were eating lunch Abigail reached a tube of acrylic paint I didn't realize I had left on the kitchen table. She bit into it. And white acrylic paint was every where.

Yesterday Olivia and Abigail filled up bags with clothes and socks. Then brought them downstairs and made "the biggest mess ever!". That was Olivia's intention. To create the biggest mess ever. She also got to learn how to clean the biggest mess ever. (Fortunately putting clothes back has become one of the easiest messes I deal with every day.)

As I type this Olivia is spreading out all the cards for Candyland all over the living room. I should stop her, but I'm enjoying blogging time too much.

We made playdough two days ago. I am still finding it in random places throughout the house. Not to mention the mess that was created while we made it.

Two days ago Abigail got a box of angel hair pasta out of the spinny cupboard that's impossible to baby proof. She dumped the entire box onto the floor. Not in one place. Scattered about through the kitchen and living room. And stomped on it. Tiny pieces of dry angel hair pasta is about as annoying to clean up as easter grass.

Yesterday while I was getting Olivia dressed in her room, Abigail found her way into the bathroom. She had a little toy bucket she put into the toilet. She got toilet water all over the bathroom.

.........and I think I'll stop there. Because as I write each of these I realize what I could have done to prevent almost all of them. I think that's why I never post things like this. The truth I really don't mind messes. We have fun, and messes can always be cleaned up.

Confession

2011-03-06T16:03:00.000-08:00

Some things I need to get off my chest.

Some nights I "clean up" dinner by putting away anything perishable that was left out, and leave a sink full of dirty dishes. And I don't even wipe down the table or anything until the next morning. (What is the alive form of "rolling over in your grave"? That's what Nanny would do if she ever saw how I left my kitchen tonight.)

Aaron and I purchased a funky looking copper pot type thing at Goodwill because it was cool looking and $4. It has all these weird pieces and a hole in the top... we have no clue what it is. Neither did the people at Goodwill. But we now have it sitting on our kitchen table. (I like to imagine bringing it somewhere to find out what it is and have them tell me it's rare, valuable ancient kitchen device that's worth like $10,000.)

I am addicted to taking pregnancy tests. My cycle is so irregular that I always think I'm late. And there is just such a thrill associated with peeing on a stick.

I recently found The Office on Netflix and have watched at least 3 episodes a day since I made that discovery. (Some days more like 6... maybe even 7....)

And I'm afraid I invited too many/didn't invite enough people to Olivia's birthday. I don't like anyone to feel left out. And then I didn't really know what to limit to. Quite a few people confirmed today they are coming. I have never thrown a 3 year old birthday party before and blogs like this make me totally insane and think I can't do enough. I wish I had unlimited fundage and a party planner. But then I remember she's THREE and it doesn't really matter. But it still matters. For me. It is all about me, right?

I think everything is about me. (Okay not really but it seemed like a good way to end this post.)

Wishes never come true...

2011-03-05T04:51:00.000-08:00

So there's been a lot of birthday talk around here lately. I told Olivia when she blew out her candles she'd have to make a wish. And then whisper it in my ear so it could come true. And she replied in her littlest, saddest voice, "No I won't tell you. Because wishes never come true in our house." Coming from the child who has a playroom full of more toys she could ever play with, 2 tricycles, a pillowpet she wished for for weeks... from the child who has been to DISNEYLAND like 5 times. Good grief. I just laughed. And then asked her what she has been wishing for and she said, "A donkey."

Friday!!

2011-03-04T04:39:00.000-08:00

Just in case you didn't know... today's Friday. And not that it much matters when you're a mom, and your husband is in school and still has to study on weekends... it really doesn't mean much. But still. When I was awoken by cries at 5:54am my first thought was -- it's Friday! And I smiled. And then Aaron surprised me by rolling out of bed and going to Abigail. (I was surprised again when she went back to sleep until 7:15. He must have the magic touch.) And then just as I was lulled back into sleep by the wind howling outside my window, I hear the pitter-patter of little feet enter the bedroom. I scooped Olivia up and cuddled with her next to me. Sometimes she falls back to sleep. No such luck this time. But we cuddled for a good half hour. And I was allowed to just lay there and think. I have often told people, "Olivia was never a baby!". She was crawling at 4 months. She was walking around 8 months. I can't remember exactly when she started talking - but I can barely remember a time when she couldn't. But this morning as she laid there curled up in my arms, holding my hand I realized what a baby she still is. Her hands felt so tiny in mine. I thought of what a sweet spirit she has, and I just loved that moment. Laying there with my baby before the sun came up. And then she told me a story. "Once upon a time there was a baby chick. Who couldn't find her family. And then a cow came and said 'I'll help you find your family.' And then the cow found another chick...aaaaaand.... IT WAS THE BABY CHICK'S FAMILY! The end." She's something. I tell ya. And I can't believe she's turning 3 in A WEEK!!!

Twice in one day!

2011-03-01T18:21:00.000-08:00

This entire day was just so nice. I want to make a schedule to make more days go like today. I did a bunch of things with my kids rather than tried to distract them so I could do something else. Usually I find I get frustrated with them and them with me, when I am trying to do something else and distract them with other things. Today I tried not to worry about doing other things. I did do quite a bit of laundry, so I still feel accomplished, but when I was with my kids I was engaging them in different activities? Is it terrible that this a new concept for me?

My favorite thing we did today was put on this CD that my mother-in-law gave Aaron for Father's Day last year. It's songs he used to listen to on a tape as a kid. They are such fun songs. Anyway we danced for almost 20 minutes straight. We had a blast.

Then we bundled up and went for a walk outside. That lasted 30 minutes until they both fell into a huge puddle of melted snow. Which was actually 20 minutes longer than I thought it would last.

Abigail took a 3 hour nap. Olivia watched a movie for "quiet time" in the playroom while I folded laundry upstairs and watched The Office on Netflix. Which just dawned on me that while we live with my grandmother for 6 weeks this summer we will not have internet. AAHHH! No Netflix. No blogging. I am going to diiiiiiiiiiiieeeeee. I know I will probably spend a lot of time at my mom's and can use her internet but it's not the same. I love blogging laying on my couch. Have I mentioned that already, blog? For about 6 weeks this summer we'll be living with Nanny. Aaron has an internship thingy at a hospital by their house. Nanny boot camp, it will be. I plan on learning all I can from her during that time. Maybe some of her extreme non laziness will rub off on me. I am actually so so SO excited for this summer. 6 weeks at the Jersey Shore. Oh boy. It will be great. I can not wait. srsly.

Anyway so yeah. Today was awesome. I feel the winter blues lifting. And I learned an important lesson - my kids are really great when I'm not trying to ignore them.

Best morning in a long time

2011-03-01T06:01:00.000-08:00

Today both girls didn't wake up until 7:30. Bliss!! They woke up when they were good and ready and what a difference that makes. They were so happy. I got up before them and started to make myself breakfast.Of course as soon as I did that they woke up. So we all made breakfast together. And then read stories. And then played hide-and-seek. And then watched The Cat In The Hat. It's only 9:00, but I feel like it's going to be a great day.

To contrast for you - normally they wake up while it's still dark. And wake me up. And so they climb into bed with me and climb all over me until I sleepily bring them downstairs and plop them in front of the tv while I slowly wake up. They watch a good hour of tv before the sun even comes up. And I feel guilty about it all day. And they're usually grumpy because they are tired.

This is just such a nice change. Plus it's MARCH. And the sun in shining. And I saw a little red robin yesterday. C'mon Spring!!

EVIL GIRL

2011-02-28T16:45:00.000-08:00

Olivia has created an alter-ego.

"Evil Girl"

She ran around all morning snicker and saying, "I"m Evil Girl!"

She dropped guacamole on the floor. I told her that wasn't nice. She replied, "No Mom, it's not nice - it's EVIL!"

... we may need to stop watching Phineas & Ferb.

And I may need to reevaluate my parenting if she's relating more to the villains in these TV shows.

Oscars in the background

2011-02-27T19:05:00.000-08:00

Once my sister-in-law Molly told me a story that she was relaying from a teacher. It was probably four years ago. I don't remember the details of the story at all - something about a donkey with a lame foot. But the line at the end of the story has stuck with me all these years...

"He's just doing the best he can with what he's got."

Isn't that what we're all doing? I just looked around me today and saw all these families. All just trying to do the best they can. We don't all parent the same way. We don't all believe the same things. But we are all just trying to do the best we can with what we've got.

I thought of people that I've been quick to judge. You know... random people... none of you reading of course.. ;) ... but nonetheless, this thought always comes back to me. They are just trying to do the best they can with what they've got. I have 4 working legs so who I am to judge a fellow donkey who only has 3? Or something like that.

And I think about it with myself. Some days my best is not my best on another day. I just have to do the best I can with what I've got that day. Some days I have a full nights sleep. Those days are better than ones when I'm struggling on just a few hours of sleep.

I guess what I really want to say is - as Moms we are all in this together. Before we judge another mother no matter what her situation - we should remember she too is just trying to do the best she can with what she's got.

I don't know where I'm going with this. I just really love that image of a poor donkey doing the best he can with what he's got. I wish I could remember the rest of the story.

Our house at 3am

2011-02-25T00:24:00.001-08:00

The scene: The girls' bedroom, 3:06am. Abigail crying for 20 minutes straight (highly unusual for her) in her crib, wearing a soaked diaper and she's gotten her pajama's halfway off. Cut to Olivia in her bed across the room, sitting up wide awake.

MOM : Changes baby's diaper, not saying a word.

OLIVIA : Mom, I want you to make a pie. Acawully I want you to make me dis many pies. holds up three fingers. I want a raspberry pie. Have you ever had a raspberry pie before, Mom? Dem are so good. And I want... a .... uhhmm... Mom? What's your fabrit pie to make faw us?

MOM : mutters sleepily Pumpkin.

OLIVIA: Okay Mom! You can make me a pumpin pie! Aaand.... uhhhmmmm.... what else?... Oh Mom! A strawberry pie! That's my fabrit. Okay tomorrow when we wake up you can bake us free pies.

MOM : Puts baby back in crib.

OLIVIA: Okay, Mom? You can make us free pies. Okay? Mom! Okay. Mom, lay wif me a tiny bit.

MOM : Goodnight, Olivia.

Mom walks out the door praying that she won't see those precious faces again until daybreak. Climbs back into her bed and realizes after 2 hours of sleep she is wide awake. Scene closes as Mom "blogs" about it.