My very vocal three year old.

Olivia has been pretty vocal since she figured out this whole talking thing. I think it's because I have a lot to learn and toddlers can be great teachers. Is she still a toddler? I guess not. Anyhoo - recently she's said somethings that have changed some things I do. 

For example, "Mom can you please watch this show with me, and not do anything else?" What a sweet simple request. I realized almost every time she was watching a show I was looking at my phone, on the computer, folding laundry, putting away dishes, etc. So now I am trying to just sit with her and not do anything else.

Then today she got really mad at Abigail because Abigail kept stealing her toys in the bathtub. She had asked nicely for her toys back. She screamed for her toys back. And then she bit Abigail's hand! I couldn't believe it. She hasn't done something like that in a very long time. So out of the tub they went. She was hysterical. Olivia HATES when she knows she did something wrong. She cried so much and so hard she made herself throw up. After she calmed down we were talking and she told me, "Mom, I don't know why, I was just so mad that Abigail took my boat, my brain told me to bite her. My brain just told me. I can't control my brain!" And at age 3 she's probably right. It's awfully hard to figure out how to control these bodies, I'm still working on mine! But we talked a bit about not always doing what our brain tells us to do. I was really impressed with how well she was able to express what she was feeling. 

And then sometimes she's just incredibly sweet. For instance...

Today she picked a flower and said it was for daddy.  While we were driving home she said it wasn't for Daddy it was for someone driving a car. Someone who's the best cook in the whole wide world. It honestly took me a minute to realize she was talking about me! It made me laugh.

Then tonight when we said goodnight she said she loved me, more than ice cream with sprinkles, and chocolate syrup... and whip cream... and a cherry on top... and...and ...and... And I know she was just stalling bedtime but it was still super sweet. Almost makes me forget the self induced puking that happened just moments earlier.

Sundays

So I don't really have much to say. A hurricane hit my hometown! My whole life there were always warnings of extreme weather disasters, but really we never saw anything all that bad. This has definitely been the worst they've seen in a very long time. But from talking to my mom it sounds like it wasn't all that bad. They are without power which stinks, but at least everyone is okay and they still have a house. My good ol' dad has been helping the entire neighborhood get water out of their basements.

It's crazy to see how fast stuff like bread and milk fly off the shelves. And how quickly gas stations run out of gasoline! I'm glad we try to be prepared for stuff like this all the time, so when emergency does come up it's not a frenzy of trying to prepare. That said, when we have money I think the first thing I want to buy is a generator. What a life saver that thing has been for my family.

My heart has been really full lately. I've been grateful for the most important things like my family being safe from this hurricane, and the privilege to be a mother... but I also find myself welling up with tears because I'm so grateful that a dishwasher is washing my dishes. Blame the hormones! The other day it just hit me how amazing it is that I can walk two feet into my bathroom, turn a nob and have hot clean water to bathe in. Seriously that is amazing for like 80% of the world, right? Something like that. Anyway I've just been taking a minute to say thanks for the little things. Sure makes life seem grand when you can be grateful for a hot shower.

My 400th post!

I guess I better make this a good one. Maybe I'll write 400 facts about me... hahahaha... I kid. I don't think I could come up with 4 things about me that you all don't know about me by now.

We are two weeks into our second year of Pharmacy school. And this is where I would like to vent. While it is really hard to have Aaron gone and/or studying almost all of the time, I would never, ever say, "School started, time to become a widow/single mom/ etc." It just rubs me the wrong way when I hear wives with husbands in med school call themselves widows. I mean, really, think about what it would be to be a widow. To not only never see your husband during the day, or night, but to know you will never see him again in this life. And then have that aching worry about how you are going to take care of your family on your own. I'm pretty sure having a husband in medical/pharmacy/law etc school is nowhere near the burden of being a widow. Or even a single parent. Right now, as I see it, Aaron's job is to work hard at building a great future for us. My job is just about everything else. And I'm okay with that. I don't feel like a single parent, because I don't have that huge burden of providing financially for this family. I don't know why I think about things like this... don't get me started when people describe their headaches like an ice pick in their head... would you like to borrow an ice pick and see how it feels?  I guess hyperbole just bothers me. And maybe I'm slightly hormonal.

Rant over. So all that said... I do miss my hubby. Days are long. But I really feel like I went to internet rehab. Before our Epic Summer, I was always trying to occupy my children with something so I could just "check one thing" on the internet. After living pretty much without internet for 5 weeks, I realize that those things I was looking were really not that important. Since we've been home I've been more focused on my kids, and less focused on facebook statusses. (In full disclosure, I am letting Olivia watch 30 minutes of television so I can write this while Abigail is napping...) Anyway, it's been good. I've felt a lot more love for those little boogers. I've had more patience. And I just enjoy them a whole more when I'm not thinking of them as a distraction from whatever else I want to be doing.

What the girls are up to... Abigail is adding words to her vocabulary like crazy. She misses NJ like crazy. Every.single.time we get in the car she asks if we're going to my mom's. When I tell her no she cries and cries and cries. And she says in the same order every time, "I eee eee eeee (really, really, really want) Bohdi. And Ziggy. Poppy. Nanny. WAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!" I'm hoping she gets over it soon. It was kind of cute/sad now it's just irritating/sad. She's also been asking for "ammal (animal) choo choo". So today I got to make all her dreams - well half of her dreams, come true, and take her on the zoo train. Her and Olivia were both in their glory. They were just beaming the entire 1 mile train ride.

Olivia has been a big fan of random expressions lately. It cracks me up. The other day she walked out of the house and said, "Wow sure is a nice day out. You can say that again. It sure is a nice day out!" All to herself. Seriously that girl is hilarious without even knowing it. In fact when she tries to be funny it's usually quite sad. Like her world famous knock-knock joke. Knock, knock. Who's there? Sgetti egg. Sgetti egg who? Sgetti egg (insert closest random object here). I have no clue where she came up with this but any time she tells a joke that's it.

I can handle it

I'm not sure what Abigail's deal is lately but any time we are in the car she is screaming, "MOMMY! MOMMY! MOMMY!" Or just crying and screaming. Usually when we arrive wherever we were going I find out she dropped something, or wants something out of her reach and that's what caused the meltdown.

So earlier I was in the car for a quick trip. Both girls strapped in their car seats. Both girls screaming at the top of their lungs, both upset about something. I am getting frazzled and frustrated and ready to start screaming myself. Then I took a deep breath and the thought came, "If this is the worst they've got, I can handle it." I felt extremely grateful for my screaming children. I thought of people who have lost children, people who can't have children, and even people who have children they don't like. Even though they were both screaming their little heads off, I was so grateful for each of them. If my biggest trial this semester (we measure life in semesters around here, now) is crying kids, I think I'm doing a-okay.

conversations with Olivia

Today I had a conversation with Olivia that made me experience several different emotions as a mother.

I really want my kids to be hard workers. I want them to know the joy that comes from working hard. So whenever I can I try to make them do little jobs. Today I asked Olivia to wipe the window clean after I sprayed with glass cleaner.

"But I don't waaaaaaaant tooooooooooo.... that's borrrinnngggg..." says my 3-year-old. Already whining about being asked to do one simple thing. I really remember being eager to help as a child. I finally convinced her to come and clean the window. She whined the entire time. I said, "Ya know, Liv, when I'm doing a chore I don't like to do, I think about how happy Daddy will be when he comes home and sees how clean we made the house. That makes me want to work even harder."

Olivia replied, "Yeah and then maybe he will take us to DISNEYLAND!" This is where I thought, "Oh great we have officially spoiled this one. She thinks one clean window = a trip to Disneyland, she's in for a lifetime of disappointment. I told her I didn't think we'd go to Disneyland, but he'd sure be happy. And she said, "Well I still just like thinking about Disneyland when I clean stuff." Well good for you kid, me too. Then she started her random babble that always amuses me and makes me wish I had a tape recorder going at all times.

"Maybe when our baby boy is born, he will go to a really hard school like Daddy. Because he's a boy. And then when he graduates we can celebrate by going to Disneyland!" This is where I fear we are raising a girl who thinks she can't go to college, and I second my guess thought about not sending her to preschool this year. I know this is irrational. I tell her girls can go to hard schools too. She argued and told me hard schools are just for boys. I guess since her dad, and most everyone she knows has a dad in medical school, it has equaled in her little mind that only boys can go. I tried telling her that several of her aunts are in college, and her own mother has a college degree... but this logic is lost on her. At least she wants to celebrate at the right place. 

I live for days like this...

75 degrees. Slight breeze. Nothing but blue skies. Picking raspberries.

Dinner at Wegmans, with super cute new kids area.

Saw Rio at the dollar theater and loved it. (not pictured)

Riding tricycles and eating left over popcorn.

Totally shocked!

We are having a little BOY!! He did not want to cooperate during the ultrasound. Spent a lot of time hanging out under my belly button which cast shadows making it hard to see what the tech needed to see. But he finally gave us a quick little peak and the tech said she was 100% sure it is a little boy. Olivia had me convinced it was a boy -- but still once you have two in a row of one gender it's hard to imagine having another. We took both girls with us to the appointment. Which was a bit crazy. Probably won't do that again! But it was fun. Olivia's reaction to finding out it was a boy was hilarious. She was acting like we were telling her something she already knew. She was so sure it was a boy. Glad she was right. We are super duper excited, and Olivia wants him to be born "RIGHT NOW!". Of course we'll be happy to wait until Dec.

Our Epic Summer! (With 0 Pictures)

We left our home in PA on June 14th (or so... I can't remember the exact date). Drove the 450 miles to my parents house. Got settled in with my grandmother while Aaron got ready to start his rotation at Riverview, the hospital near my family. It was a crazy 4 weeks. We spent lots of time with aunts and grandparents. Going to amusement parks, aquariums, parks and beaches. When the 4 week rotation was up we hopped on a plane flew the 2,000 miles to Aaron's parents in Arizona. Where we also spent time with aunts and uncles and cousins and grandparents. We had a blast in Arizona, and the weather wasn't nearly as bad the weather we left in NJ. We left 100+ temps with humidity to AZ's balmy 95, with a nice breeze. It was hot, but much more bearable. After a couple days in AZ we drove 374 miles to Disneyland.

Had a great time in Disneyland. Olivia was tall enough, and excited enough to go on all the "mountain" rides. In Dec. she was tall enough, but pretty hesitant to go on the big rides. This time she loved them all. She was nervous at first, but when she got off she was all smiles and wanting to go again. And thanks to a baby swap pass she usually could go on every ride one more time. I was shocked she even did Tower of Terror twice! We also got to have lunch with the princesses, and breakfast with the characters. We watched the parade, and fireworks. We had to wake our kids up every morning and they easily conked out every night. It was great.

We almost threw a quick trip to Mexico in there as well, but I decided it would have just been too much for this pregnant lady to handle. So we spent a few more days in AZ eating at our favorite resturants and spending time with our favorite people. Then we flew home... well our temporary home anyway, back in NJ. This time staying with my mom since even though she's only 2 miles from my grandmother, we didn't see her nearly enough while we were here. So after one night at my mom's, Aaron and I left our children and drove to Brooklyn.

We stayed at my cousin's apartment in Brooklyn and had a great time. We rode the subway into Manhatten and got delicious pizza, did some sight seeing and met up with our good friends/cousins from AZ. We went to the MET. I hailed a taxi cab for the first time in my life. And then we ate a delicious, over priced, tiny italian resturant. I spent the whole night feeling like a real new yorker. And really proud that I was in a crowd of like 15 people trying to hail cabs from the MET, and I was able to get one to stop for me. Might have had something to do with my obvious pregnant belly that I was trying to stick out as much as possible. :)  We rode the subway home late at night. Saw the world's most giant rat. Freaked out. Got the most delicious milkshakes I've ever tasted. While a homeless woman cackled behind us and blew bubbles. Then we passed out and slept in until 11. Got bagels for breakfast. Cleaned up, and then drove out onto Long Island with Sean's friend. We stopped a great little deli and got "Itialian Heros" for lunch. Cannolli's for dessert. Then we headed off to Jone's Beach for a concert. It was an awesome venue. The stage is actually out in the water, and it's just beautiful. We saw Blink 182. Which was interesting. And fun. And I'll leave it at that. Then we drove the 60 miles back to my mom's house - with a quick midnight diner stop.

Now all we have left is to pack up our entire life from the past 6 weeks, and drive 346 miles to Aaron's brother's new place in PA for a quick stop before we finish the 507 mile trip from NJ to Erie, PA.

I am weary. And sore. And feeling like I'm coming down with a cold of some sort. And like 23 weeks pregnant or something around there. The excitement doesn't end though -- on Weds, the day after we get home -- I have my ultrasound to find out if this little squirmy wormy inside me has boy parts or girl parts! I can't wait. Great thing to come home too.