Nate the Late

So we finally got to welcome our little boy into the world. He was born Saturday the 17th at 8:17pm. He weighed 9lbs 2oz and was 21inches long. And he came into the world screaming his head off!

So here's the whole story... we had a home birth with an amazing, awesome midwife. I know, I know, we're crazy. But we're not. I really did a lot of research about this before deciding, and although I didn't announce it to the world, it was our plan all along. I just didn't want people to worry/tell me I'm crazy, so we kept it on the down low. But now it's over so I shall tell you all about it.

Woke up Saturday morning with contractions! Real contractions. Just like I did with Olivia and Abigail, I knew this was it. It was 4:45am so I tried to just sleep through it as much as possible. They were about 20 minutes apart, so I would lay there, drift off to sleep, and a contraction would wake me up. There was really no sleeping through it, but I did sleep a bit between them. At 6:30 I woke up Aaron to let him know we'd be having a baby that day. We got out of bed around 8:00am. Cleaned the house up a bit. Put away some laundry. Ate breakfast. Just tried to ignore the contractions as much as possible. Then I called a few best friends to chat. That was a good distraction. Then around 3:00 my friend Candace came over to give me a massage. Definitely the best part of the labor!! She was amazing. Contractions were picking up, and I had to focus quite a bit to get through them. But the massage... yeah that helped. Contractions were about 5 minutes apart at that point. She stayed for almost 2 hours. Then after she left I got into the shower. Contractions picked up even more. We called the midwife around... 6? I'm guessing, because I lose all track of time at this point. When Jen (the midwife) got there I was about 8cm. She said by looking at me and the way I was acting she would have guessed I was like 4cm. I was really happy, not in too much pain, and loving the fact that I was at home! Then things started to get really intense. I felt him starting to move down, and I just started to get a bit scared. I tried to just focus on one contraction at a time, but yeah... started to get a little scared realizing this baby was really going to come out.

We had a birthing tub set up in the playroom. Full of wonderful hot water. I was honestly afraid to get in because I knew once I did he was coming. I had to let go of the fear and hop in the tub. I have no idea how long I was in the tub before he came. It was really intense. I know I was loud, and crazy, and wondering why the heck I decided to do this. But then with one contraction my water broke. With the next contraction his head came out. With the next contraction the rest of him was born. It really was just so intense and beautiful. I picked my baby boy up out of the water, and laid him against me. He screamed from the moment I lifted him from the water. Aaron cut the cord after it stopped pulsing. We got to sit there in awe and just enjoy this little miracle for as long as we wanted. It was perfect.

Jen commented on how wrinkly his fingers were and said he was definitely a 41 weeker. I needed 3 little stitches. Which I made a big deal about, but wasn't a big deal really. I just hate that part. Anyway it has been wonderful to climb into our own comfy bed, and eat our own yummy food, and just enjoy the comfort of being home. Jen comes back to check on us, and brings all the paper work for birth certificate, etc.  Anyway, if you have any questions about it I'd love to answer! It was a beautiful, wonderful experience... but I'm not far enough removed from the pain yet to say I'd do it that way again! Give me time, and I'm sure I will.

True story.

Every day since my due date I have come to my blog to look at my little ticker thingy. And every day I feel a little more sorry for myself. -6.... Oh poor me! Isn't that silly?

My midwife came this morning. We are sure this baby will be here soon. I've actually been having lots of contractions since she left. But nothing with any kind of pattern or anything yet. So... we'll see.  She said he seems perfectly healthy. His heart rate was great. He was moving around a bit. And he's in a great position. My blood pressure and all that stuff was also perfect. So there's no reason to try to rush things... except for my sanity. And if I know baby is doing okay, it helps me be okay too. I mean of all we sacrifice for these little people throughout the course of their lives, it all kind of starts with this. The first gift I'll give him is letting him chose his own birthday. (Although Aaron did threaten him last night, that if he doesn't come out soon we will never recognize his birthday for the rest of his life. Sorry kid, it's Jesus' birthday this time of year, and ya know you COULD have been born a couple weeks earlier, but YOU chose to stay in there forever, so now you never get a birthday party for your entire life...we joke, we joke. Aaron also promised him a car for his 16th birthday if he came early. Too late for that one, kiddo.)

In other news, I have had a horrible cold and Aaron has all these tests this week, and I've just been feeling overwhelmed and sick and so very pregnant and scared and all kinds of crazy emotions... so I called my Mommy. And I asked her to meet me somewhere in the middle of PA and take my kids for me. And she did. Yeah she's the best. So now all I have to worry about is resting and getting this baby out. And maybe putting away some laundry or cleaning or some kind of nonsense like that.

Today I did some stuff for Seminary, laid around, ran a quick errand, laid around, and still working on that laying around. It is glorious. Although I can't believe how much I already miss my baby girls. Seriously! But I also don't know how I'd be functioning if they were here. I know they are safe, and loved and having a blast with my family. I am so incredibly grateful to be have family willing to do that for me!

So for the rest of the day I'll be watching Netflix from my couch... just waiting. And praying that tomorrow I wake up feeling at least a little better. And then I can have this baby. Weekends work well for me.

Olivia's bed time story.

I had Olivia tell me a story the other night for bed time. My brain just couldn't function enough to come up with a story. Well, she had no problem. I was really impressed with her story I wanted to write it down somewhere. I'm going to try and write exactly like she said, as much as I can.

"Once there was a little bird with a hurt wing. His wing was really hurt. He had to rest so it could get better. Once it got better he could fly SUPER high. He flew all the way up to SANTA'S SLEIGH! Santa was stuck in a storm. His reindeer couldn't see in the clouds and the storm. The birdie said, 'Tweet, tweet, I can help, tweet tweet.' And Santa said, 'Who are you?' The birdie said, 'I'm Tweetie! Tweet. I have good eyes! I can see in this storm.' And so Santa said okay and the birdie helped lead the sleigh. Santa said, 'On DONDER! ON CUPID! ON TWEETIE!' And then the birdie helped Santa get out of the storm."

At this point she realized her story had come to an end, but she simultaneously realized that if her story ended I would say goodnight and leave. So she had to keep going to avoid having to go to bed. Clever girl.

"But then Santa flew into a... tunnel! And a train was coming! And the train hit Santa! And all the reindeer died, but Santa didn't because he's magic. And presents went everywhere. But the presents had names on them so everyone knew what presents to take."

And then she gave up on trying to stay awake and just said the end. I was really impressed with her story. I had to repeat it to Aaron to see if it was something he had told her once or something. He said it was completely original. She is such a little smarty pants! I love hearing what her imagination comes up with.

Memories from Aaron's phone...

Yeah this is only a few months later... painting pumpkins. Love how serious Abigail is.

"Cheeeeese"

Crazy eyes.

Love the amazement in Abigail's eyes.

Santa's a little creepy looking here... but they were super nice. This was in a really small town in PA... Northeast, PA. Which is in the north west of PA...

We went to this old train museum. It was lots of fun.

At Asbury Woods.

You is kind... you is smart... you is important...

Have you seen The Help? If not, take 19 seconds to watch this video. Out of context it might seem kind of weird, but anyway I thought it was a touching part of the movie. And I thought I should be better at telling my girls more often how important and kind they are.

So the next day this scene kept going through my head. I had Abigail on my lap on the rocking chair and I looked at her sweet little face. I said, "Abigail, you is kind..." To which she yelled, "NO!" And I said, "Yes, you are kind..." And as if to prove her point she hit me in the face and again yelled, "No!" This is real life people. I didn't bother with the rest of the little mantra.

So later that day I had Olivia on my lap in the kitchen. I said the same thing to her. "Hey Liv, did you know you are kind? You are smart. And you are important." She didn't really respond to me at all. Then she looked up from what she was doing and said, "Cool. You forgot to say cool."

.... and since I'm officially past my due date I guess I ought to mention how incredibly miserable I am. I also have a cold. This has been a recurrent theme for the end of my pregnancies. It is the worst. And I feel terribly sorry for myself, so don't worry you don't have to feel sorry for me, I'm taking care of that all on my own.

the watched pot

I'm pretty sure I know what a watched pot feels like right now. Ya know, the one that never boils? I'm not quite to my due date yet, but I know every one is one edge waiting for that phone call/facebook post/ blog post etc announcing that I'm in labor. From the moment I figured out my due date I tried telling myself to add a week. Not the 9th, the 16th. But I've never been able to convince myself. I keep trying, but I just have this hope that maybe this guy won't be as late as sisters. But what if he's even LATER?? Ugh... I don't think I can be pregnant for two more weeks.

I'm pretty sure when that whole nesting instinct thing was given out, Heavenly Father forgot to give it to me. I think I got an extra dose of laziness. I don't ever remember having that urge to clean like crazy with the girls. I make myself do it, because I want a clean house for the baby and all, but it's not like an uncontrollable urge. Yesterday I scrubbed my bathtub. I'm sure some people might think I was nesting, but I'll tell ya what... it wiped me out. Apparently for two days. I am SO tired today. And my kitchen is a mess from making pizza dough last night... and I still don't want to clean it. Pretty much all of me hurts. My hips, my shoulders.. wah wah wah...

On the other hand... these are my last few weeks of being pregnant. I need to try and enjoy it. Because believe it or not I always end up missing it. So I'm trying to savor the feeling of this little person squirming around inside me. And trying to ignore the discomforts because really it is all such a miraculous process. With a beautiful little miracle in the end. I know that really Jesus wasn't born on Dec. 25th.. .but still this is the time we celebrate His birth, and I kind of think it's magical to be pregnant this time of year. I told Aaron when I go into labor I want to dress up like Mary and ride a donkey. We can have our own live nativity!!... is that sacrilegious? The thought makes me laugh anyway.

Can being pregnant with a boy make me more hormonal than I was with my girls? I don't remember feeling this crazy when I was pregnant before. I seriously cried my eyes out a car commercial the other day. Today Aaron slept when I felt like he should have been awake... and I had a major melt down over it. I've been blessed that I've been able to sleep fairly well most of this pregnancy. Until lately. Ugh... laying down just hurts. My shoulders and my back hurt. I get contractions when I roll around too much. I get pins and needles if I lay still. I get heart burn if I'm too flat on my back... last night was a crappy night. The night before that was also fairly crappy. Today I gave my girls half a roll of toilet paper to keep them busy so I could eat my lunch in relative peace. Officially in survival mode.

I also hate not knowing how much longer I'll be pregnant. This part just drives me crazy. This is my third time doing it, you'd think I'd learn a way to just not think about it or something... but I haven't. I always try to keep my calender clear from 37 weeks+, just in case... I should probably do the opposite. Try to keep myself as busy as possible. Pretty sure people will understand if I have to cancel a playdate due to being in labor. Anyone want to come over and play???

Gratitude

So I let all of November pass without a typical blogger grateful post. Lately I have been falling asleep listening to the same talk on my phone... The Choice To Be Grateful.  Towards the end it says to make a list of 100 things you are grateful for, and helps you break it down. I have found this to be the most peaceful way to fall asleep.

And since I'm procrastinating putting away groceries and cleaning the kitchen I'm going to do it. Write out all 100 things... So sit back, and relax and enjoy!... or just scroll down to the next post and read some funny things Olivia has said ;)

1. Write 10 physical abilities you are grateful for.
   
   Showering on my own
   Toileting on my own... seriously had a friend on strict bedrest and I didn't even think about how awful it would be to have to use a bedpan. *shudder*
   My ability to carry healthy babies, and nurse them with little difficulty.
   The ability to drive a car.
   The ability to cook yummy dinners.
   The ability to type... I do enjoy my blogging time.
   Sleep. That's a physical ability, right?
   Hugs. And kisses.
   Taste, definitely couldn't live without my taste buds.
   And I guess just the physical potential of my body. Right now I would never dream of running a marathon, but I know if I wanted to, I could put forth the effort and my body would oblige. I'm grateful for that.
2. Write 10 material possessions you are grateful for.
   
   phone.
   van.
   computer.
   bed.
   Abigail's binkies.
   food.
   my pillow.
   my Ikea throw pillows and lamps.
   our tv.
   scriptures.
   
   
3. Write 10 living people you are grateful for.
   
   Aaron.
   Olivia.
   Abigail.
   "Baby boy on the way"
   Mom
   Nanny
   Mom-in-law
   aunts.
   cousins.
   siblings.
   sibling-in-laws.
   friends. near and far.
   
   
4. Write 10 deceased people you are grateful for.
   
   this is tough....fortunately I don't know that many people that died. I'm so grateful for that. And so so so grateful that most of the people on this list are people I've never met.
   Poppy
   Joseph Smith
   Grandma Opie
   ...ugh I literally can't think of any more. I'm grateful for the babies of my friends that only lived long enough to ever know their mother's womb. While it breaks my heart into a million pieces for them, it magnifies my gratitude for my precious little ones that for some reason, Heavenly Father saw fit to let me keep here on this Earth with me.
5. Write 10 things about nature you are grateful for.
   
   beaches.
   mountains.
   finding bugs with my kiddos.
   walking on logs across creeks.
   arizona citrus blossoms.
   sun shine.
   warm breezes.
   millions of stars.
   fall's beautiful colors.
   first blossoms of spring.
   freshly fallen snow.
6. Write 10 things about today you are grateful for.
   
   kids were amazing at chiropractor this morning.
   chocolate cookies I splurged on at Target.
   kids were amazing at Target and sat in the cart and let me browse.
   Writing Santa letters with my kids.
   Facebook chats with friends. (sometimes this is my only social interaction of the day!)
   The sun is shining!
   Abigail napping.
   Having groceries for dinner tonight.
   The first day of Dec... the month I'll be having this baby boy!
   nice lady at Target giving me two separate bags of popcorn for my kids so they wouldn't fight.
7. Write 10 places on earth you are grateful for.
   
   Middletown, NJ
   Erie, PA
   Mesa, AZ
   Jamaica (honeymoon)
   Christopher Creek, AZ (falling in love)
   My home.
   The temple. Any temple.
   Disneyland.
   Mexico.
   Sandy Hook.
8. Write 10 modern inventions you are grateful for.
   
   laptops
   phones
   television
   dishwashers
   washing machines
   dryers
   showers and bathtubs (those are "modern" right??)
   cars
   .... I can't think of anything else really "modern". I keep thinking of things like blankets and beds. Pretty sure those have been around a while.
9. Write 10 foods you are grateful for.
   
   Just 10? chocolate chips.
   chocolate in general.
   pasta.
   mozzarella cheese.
   potatoes
   chicken
   homemade bread
   girl scout cookies
   butter. lots of butter.
   and because a vegetable should be somewhere on this list... broccoli.
10. Write 10 things about the gospel you are grateful for.
    
    The Atonement. 
    Commandments.
    Tithing.
    Blessings.
    Friendship.
    Forever families.
    A Living Prophet.
    Teaching Seminary.
    Visiting Teaching.
    Personal Revelation.