grumpy

I am so grumpy today. I don't want my kids to touch me. And of course they want nothing but to climb all over me. Wah. So I'm taking a minute to lock myself away (figuratively speaking anyway, in reality I'm sitting on the couch and hoping Netflix will be enough of a distraction) and just write for a bit. I don't even really have anything to say. Maybe I can try to deduct while I am so grumpy. My house doesn't stay clean for more than 5 minutes. I have a baby who nurses every 4 hours and quite frankly sometimes my boobs just want a break. My longest stretch of sleep for the past.. oh probably 6 months.. has been 6 hours. And that was the BEST night... sometimes you just want to sleep for at least 8 hours. Sometimes I just want to sleep for 12, or 24. Most nights I probably average 4 uninterrupted hours. Also, I've been dieting. Enough said. We've been sick. Also, enough said. I have a dentist appointment on Monday. I am beyond petrified of the dentist. Like seriously - when I called to set the appointment my fight or flight reflex kicked in, I had to run to the bathroom and was sweating. When they called to confirm the appointment yesterday the same thing happened. Just writing about this right now is giving me a stomach ache. I don't know how I am going to do it. I also forgot to cancel my live class for Seminary this morning. So a bunch of teenagers woke up at 6:00am, called into a class.... and I wasn't there. I didn't even think about it. Until I woke up to Aaron asking me, "Did you ever cancel your class? You have some texts..." Worst way to wake up, ever. Did I mention these kids who keep climbing all over me like I'm their own personal jungle gym? And they're always so loud. They do no understand inside voices, or being quiet because their brother is sleeping. Consequently, Nathan doesn't get enough sleep either. Oh, and the reason for the dentist appointment - I have a toothache. I'm pretty sure I need to get my wisdom teeth out. The guy I babysit for hasn't paid me for the past three weeks. 

Those are all great reasons to be grumpy right? Okay let's try to turn it around.. things to be happy about. General Conference this weekend. Also, I'm getting my hair cut and highlighted Saturday morning. And I've lost 14lbs the past 5 weeks. That's something, right? 

Okay I'm still incredibly grumpy. Maybe I'll try a shower.

Bottomler

First, you should know butt is a bad word in our Opie house. We use a plethora of other phrases, but most commonly bottom. Just sounds nicer coming out of my two year old's mouth than butt. So when Olivia was watching a TV show and they mentioned a butler, she looked at me with a guilty expression on her face (we also try not to watch any tv shows that use the word butt). Then she said, "They shouldn't say BUTLER, Mom, they should say BOTTOM-LER." It took me a second, just a second, and then I erupted in laughter. Once the laughter subsided, I tried to explain that butler was not a bad word. I tried to explain what a butler was. I told her the butler takes care of the house, and makes sure everything in the house gets done, etc. And she said, "Oh!! So you're our butler!" Which led to more laughter on my part.

In other news - Abigail says Shampoop. Instead of shampoo. She doesn't get why I keep correcting her.

Pictures.

"Rapunzel letting down her hair"... Aaron's response to me sending him this picture on his phone, "Hope he can jump."

Abigail busy at work.

I hadn't made homemade spaghetti sauce in forever. I don't know why I waited so long. It was heavenly.

Olivia made out like a bandit for her 4th birthday. She got enough $ to go see Sesame St. Live AND buy a bike! Thank you Mom!, Nanny, Aunt Marita and Aunt Kathy!

Abigail's new signature picture pose. Which I guess is better than the finger up the nose...

And Nate looking studly. This picture cracks me up.

hrmph!

Something about center justification 

makes me want to write more.

Hm.

I only blog when I should be doing something else.

That something else right now is

folding and putting away laundry.

It's waited approximately

168 hours...

what's 5 more minutes?

I am t.i.r.e.d.

Most nights I fall asleep around 10.

Wake up around 2.

Feed the babe.

If I'm lucky I fall right back to sleep.

(too many nights I'm not lucky and end up tossing and turning the rest of the night, only falling asleep minutes before the kids are up for the day...)

Wake up around 7 to start the day.

Oh except for days when I have to babysit.

Then I wake up at 4. And leave the house by 5.

Or days when I have to teach my Seminary class.

Then I wake up at 5:30...

That's about 4/7 days a week.

I dream about 8 uninterrupted hours of sleep.

Day dream that is.

I don't sleep long enough to actually dream, dream.

Today especially, the lack of sleep is getting to me.

The anticipation of lack of sleep is getting to me.

I am grumpy.

And the sun is shining and the birds are singing.

Makes it hard to be grumpy.  

Good thing I'm like a pro at it lately.

Abigail has a crown on. She keeps walking around saying "Princess Abigail!" And then she clears her throat like she has something important to say.

She was sitting on the floor at the top of the stairs, and I stepped over her to get into the living room. She stood up and looked at me and said, "Hey! Don't step over me. Say, excuse me can I come in and dance?" Well in Abigail speak it sounded more like - "Hey no tep ober me! SAY scusemecanIdance?" She had major emphasis on the say.

After giggling at her, I walk into the living room to find her wearing one of my necklaces, with her baby doll swaddled in one of Nathan's abandoned blankets. She was rocking her doll to sleep and shushed me as I started talking. Apparently her baby JUST fell asleep. Well I know how that goes, so I shushed myself over here to my computer to capture a bit of the cuteness happening right now.

Queen.

I had a little epiphany the other day while folding laundry. I thought about the word, queen. I thought myself as a queen. Mormons have a thing with royalty. We really believe we are children of God - and he is like the ultimate King of the Universe, right? So that makes us all divine kings and queens - or prince and princesses. I like this belief. I think it is true. So anyway this word "queen" was bouncing around in my head. I was wondering if I act much like a queen. I don't think I do. If I were a queen I would not let my house get as messy as I do. I would have more pride in my appearance. As well as my children's!
   As I folded laundry I let myself picture myself as a queen. And this little apartment, my palace. My children, my subjects. And my husband, the king. Sounds silly, typing it out like this. But it shifted something in my brain. Something that needed shifting. See, sometimes I let my kids talk to me in nasty tones. Sometimes they talk back and tell me no, and whine and pout and don't treat me quite the way they should. And I let them. But then when I realized, hey I'm a queen. Queens do not let their little subjects talk to them like that. It made it easier to stop tolerating it.
       I also thought of my palace. I thought about how a queen would not leave wet towels on the floor. Or dishes in the sink. Or dirty diapers on the living room floor. Suddenly, my attitude toward my housework changed. I had pride in it.
      Queens wake up and shower and put make up on and get dressed. Queens don't wear sweatpants and t-shirts and forgo showering.
    I know some ladies who may not even realize it - but they live like queens. Their homes are clean, or at least organized. Their children respect them. They look presentable most of the time. These ladies are great examples to me.
    I had this epiphany - and it has helped my attitude. Now I just need to keep working at it. Reminding myself of my divine heritage every day. I think this attitude can carry over to all aspects of my life. Weight loss, parenting, housework, etc.
         I am probably the most laid back mom on the planet. My kids make messes and I encourage it. I do things against my better judgement because nothing makes me happier than seeing them smile. I think that this is good - to an extent. I need to be better about work and then play. There is always time for playing if we do the important stuff first.
   I'm not sure how to end this post. I just wanted to write about this queen word so it would stop buzzing around my head. I'm not sure I said exactly what I'm thinking. But yeah ... when I grow up I want to be a queen.

Oh I love this boy.

He is such a joy to have in our family.

I am so smitten.

He talks SO much. He's always babbling and cooing away.

I think it's because he got to spend so much time with Uncle Ammon so early in life.

Who am I kidding?

I can blame my children's talkativeness on no one but myself.

My mom used to sit me in front of my great grandmother when I was 2, because she was the only one patient enough to listen to me talk on and on forever.

In third grade my teacher wrote "social butterfly" on my report card.

I thought that was the most wonderful term ever.

Then my mom told me it meant I talked too much and that I need to be quiet once in a while.

It never happened.

She continued to hear, year after year, what  a wonderful student I was, if I would only shut up.

I guess that's why I love this blog.

My new way of "talking" to everyone all of the time.

Anyway back to the boy.

He is almost 3 months old.

I'd say it went by fast, but you'd be expecting that.

And really... it's been a long three months.

He's had quite a few colds already.

Currently fighting another one.

He rolls from his tummy to his back.

And he's working on getting from his back to his tummy.

He's almost there.

He lights up when he sees his sisters.

From a distance.

He cringes when they closer than an arm's length.

He smiles at his daddy. And loves when he sings.

But I'm pretty sure he loves me best.

And it's good to be loved.

Although - I think he might only be into me for my lactating capabilities. 

Time will tell.

"Mom, why is someone buried in our parking lot?"

Olivia turns 4. In Words.

Dear Olivia,

   I have started this letter and deleted it and started it again, and again and again. I kept starting with things like, "Don't grow up!" The truth is - I love that you are growing up. While you were a terribly adorable baby, I love the little girl you are becoming. You are so thoughtful and kind. A few examples, just from today: Abigail dropped her pacifier in the car, and without being asked or told, you found another one and gave it to her. (We won't mention that you found the other one in your little brother's mouth... he was done with it anyway.) You also made a wish when you blew out your birthday candles that "everyone in your family would be happy". You shared all of your birthday presents with your sister. Whenever Nathan is crying, you are the first to run to him to cheer him up. Your tantrums are becoming less and less. You go to bed without a fight. You "read" books to your sister. Yes, I like the little girl you are growing up to be, very much. 

    I've always known you are a smart little girl. But as you grow up, I am really amazed at how much is in that little brain of yours. Just the other night we were at a restaurant we haven't been to in a couple of months, and you noticed that on the counter next to the cash register there was no longer the bamboo plant that was there last time. I thought you were crazy - but the employee heard you and said, "Oh wow, I didn't even realize it's not there anymore! Hm, wonder what happened to it." I really thought she was going to say, "What are you talking about? There was never a bamboo plant here." But I never should have doubted you. You remember things from so long ago, and such details, that I don't even know why I keep this blog! I could probably just ask you any of these details and you'd remember them. I probably tell you too often how incredible and smart you are. You tell me it's because you have a LOT of brains.

   Every morning you wake up, get dressed and make your bed. Then you pick out an outfit for Abigail. This just warms my heart every morning. Yes, as long as you keep growing like this, you can keep growing. You help me cook dinner - and you actually help! You can crack an egg without getting a single shell. You're really good at mixing - and I've yet to meet a better taste-tester. You can play by yourself for hours, and better yet, you can play with your sister even longer. You boss her around and tell her what characters to be in whatever game you have going on in your head. But it's okay, because she's happy to comply (most days). Your imagination is incredible. Which is maybe why you don't ever play with toys. They don't leave enough to the imagination. Tonight you spent over half an hour playing with a family of forks. 

      You spent the better part of an hour yesterday making Easter decorations for me to hang up in my room. You love to be creative and make things. I should indulge this side of you more often. I'll work on it this year, okay? You love to sit on my lap and look at things on Pinterest with me. In fact both of your birthday cakes were cakes that you found and pinned!

      While I miss those moments of snuggling you against my chest, and quietly laying you in your bed, I am truly enjoying watching you grow up. You make life so fun, Olivia. I am so, so glad that you are mine forever.

Love,

Mom

Olivia turns four. In Pictures.

Misunderstandings...

A couple days ago we took the girls to Taco Bell for dinner. When we announced that was the plan Abigail was overjoyed. "TacoBell! TacoBell!" She shouted over and over the whole way there. And then bursted into tears upon arrival. "Abigail what's wrong?"
"Tacobelll!!!" She cried over and over. After a few minutes of trying to figure out what was wrong, I realized she was saying, and thought we were saying, "Tinkerbell".  I think I'd be pretty disappointed too, if I thought we were going somewhere with Pixie dust and fairies, and got refried beans and processed meat instead.

Aaron and I have learned we can NOT, ever, tell Abigail to "chew" her food. One night Abigail was playing with her food, and then talking with it in her mouth. Aaron told her, "Abby, CHEW! Chew your food." And Abigail faked sneezed all of her food that was in her mouth back onto her plate, with a great big "ACHOO!" The most hilarious part of this, is that she thinks she's being obedient! She thinks when we say "chew" that this is exactly what she wants us to do. So it's not uncommon at our dinner table to hear, "Abigail - bite your food... with your teeth, bite it and bite it and swallow."

Olivia's nickname is "Yaya". Abigail has a mama, a dada, and a yaya. Just fyi. So the other day Nathan was doing his baby crunches that he's started doing lately. I noticed and said, "Oh yeah Nate, work those abs!" And then Olivia came by and said, "No Mom, tell him to work those Yayas!"

And then tonight Aaron came home and I told him all I was doing for Olivia's little cold. "I gave her some hot Innergize, and some euthanasia." To which Aaron replies, "Echinacea?"  "Yeah, that."

Life.

Each day is an adventure around here. Today we went to the zoo for a fun Dr. Suess story time. It was really cute. Kids had a good time.

I've started babysitting for a family in our apartment complex. It's been nice. Living on student loans isn't very fun, so it's nice to have a little extra. Being able to take the kids to McDonalds or something without having to worry about the money is really nice.

Abigail has started using  a lot more words. One of my favorites is "also". We were talking about all the people who love her. I told her I love her, and Daddy loves and she said, "And also, Nanny loves me." And to me it was just so cute that she added the also. And she continued on and on with everyone she knows who "also loves" her.

Olivia turns 4 next weekend. Seriously how the flippety flip did that happen?? FOUR! I am so excited for her though. She is turning into such a sweet girl, and a great helper. It's nice to have a right hand gal to grab binkies, or even entertain Nathan for a minute while I'm cooking dinner. Although it still boggles my mind that she's not my baby anymore, and somehow I have two more. Three kids, seriously? If I stop to think about it, I freak out a little. Old people have three kids... not me!!

Nathan is just our little cuter head. As dubbed by Olivia. He laughed for the first time the other night and melted our hearts. We've been trying to get him to do it again but all we can manage is a smile. My kids are not big laughers. Makes me sad. Maybe I need to laugh more.

Aaron is doing amazing this term. He is only three weeks into his term but has had three tests, and he got 100's on two of them. One of them was rumored to be the hardest test of all of pharmacy school, according to some guys in the year ahead of him. And yeah, he got a 100. I'm so proud of him. I know he doesn't like when I brag about his brains, but this is my blog so neener neeener neener!

And I'd say that's a pretty good snapshot of our life right now.