insomnia.

I don't know what it is. Something happens in my brain if I get woken up in the middle of the night... and I am completely unable to fall back to sleep. It is the most frustrating thing in the world. Last night Nate woke up around 1. He fussed and whined, and was unhappy until I finally got him back to sleep around 1:45. As soon as I laid back down I knew I wouldn't be able to fall back to sleep. I tried to fight it. Just count backwards from like 9,999,999... deep breathe. Hypnosis. Nothing. Wide awake, mind racing, as I watched the clock... 2:00, 3:00, 4:00... finally just after 5am, I dozed off.

I can literally lay there and not move a muscle, with my eyes closed, for an entire hour and not fall asleep.  I try to do all sorts of mental tricks. I pray. I put a sleeping ap on my phone. When whatever shifts in my brain, shifts, it seems like no matter what I do, sleep will not come. Frustrating! So... I fall asleep sometime shortly after 5:00am. at 7:00 Nathan woke up crying. I get up and bring him in bed to nurse. I sleepily feed him... and then he starts whining. Making grumpy little sounds... and then projectile vomits all over me. And himself. And my bed. Literally emptied the entire contents of his stomach, I am sure. It's all over him and me. I start to undress him, and realize he also pooped. Like a major blowout. So with two hours of sleep, I get to clean massive amounts of puke and poop before 8:00am.

What better job is there, than motherhood?

Olivia also woke up in a mood. She screamed in Abigail's ear. And is convinced Abigail is just trying to get her in trouble. I don't think Abigail can even comprehend that yet... making up lies to get her sister in trouble... no, I don't think so. But Olivia is very hurt that I am believing Abigail.

Anyway, even though it's only 8:30am, and I only got 2 hours of sleep last night, I am still super happy. Know why? This time next week I will be in NYC!!!! Wednesday night Aaron and I are going to go see Newsies! And then spend the night at my cousins apartment and do all kinds of new yorky stuff. I am super super excited. Oh, and I'm leaving all three children behind! So so so grateful for wonderful family willing to watch my crazy brood.