Emotions of a Mommy on first child's birthday

I think every time your first born has birthday there is that feeling of - "I can't believe I have a(n) [fill in age here]!!!"  For me today, can't believe I have a three year old. 3 years!! That used to seem like such a long time. I mean high school was only 4 years. Now it's a blink of an eye.

I can literally remember like it was yesterday, feeling like Olivia would never be 4 months. Ever. I read on some Le Leche League message boards that 4 months was some magical nursing number, and by 4 months almost all babies had figured things out. I told myself, if I made it 4 months and things were still the way they were, then I would quit. I don't remember when things got better with nursing, but by 4 months things were definitely  much better. That first year of her life was pretty difficult. She pretty much always had a cold. She didn't nap. And I nursed her to sleep every night for that first year. Getting her to bed was an hour long production and took its toll on me. Oh and I found out I was pregnant before her first birthday. Fun stuff. So her second year was shadowed by pregnancy and the arrival of her sister. And truthfully life is a blur from the moment I had Abigail. There are of course moments that stand out, but overall, in general, I can't recall much.

 I had a moment yesterday at her dance class where I teared up looking at her. She was trying so hard to listen and please me. She's the youngest in her class, and in this fleeting moment she looked like such a BABY. Her little face smiled at me, and gave me a thumbs up after she jumped over a mat. And I guess seeing her next to all these older girls, and not her 16 month old sister, she just seemed so little. I literally went back in my mind to when she was 4 months. Finally that magical 4 months I never thought we'd get to. And now here we are on her third birthday. I am so proud of the little person she is. I am hoping 3 brings more obedience. Maybe stop pushing the limits so much. I already know it means she's no longer free at most buffets and Disneyland. She will likely start preschool this year. She is so amazingly brilliant and funny and beautiful, and caring.

We got her a goldfish for her birthday. She named him Sebastian. Totally unprompted that's what she came up with. And she loves him. I hope he lasts at least a few months.